The Other Side Of Never chapter one
by Rosa17
Summary: Carby. Set in the future
1. Default Chapter

AN: Sorry I was so long updating but I had a technical problem. The only good thing was that I got to write most of the story on paper whilst I waited for it to be fixed.

Thank you for all your comments.

The Other Side of Never

Chapter one

October 2009

Carter walked over to the admit desk from the lounge after working one of the worst graveyard shifts of his career. He buttoned up his coat and took a letter out of his pocket, which he thrust in front of Susan, who was now chief of emergency medicine.

'What?' she asked, turning to face him as she took the envelope from him. 'What's this Carter?'

'A letter' he replied

'Duh! I can see that, what's going on?' she asked

Susan touched his shoulder and steered him back into the lounge. 'Carter?' she asked.

'I need some time out' he said

'Time out, for what?'

'To find myself, get everything in perspective'

'You're not going to the Congo again, are you? I thought you had got that out of your system years ago?'

'No' he replied 'I don't want to go back there'

'Then why are you going? How long for? I just don't understand? Carter?' Susan said perplexed.

'Nothing's right. If I'm not here I'm dealing with foundation affairs and I can't seem to hold down a relationship...'

'Ah... Jenny broke up with you, did she?' Susan asked

'Jenny! Jenny and I broke up in March, I'm talking about Emma',

'Geez Carter, you have so many girlfriends, I can't keep up'

'No I don't. Last year I didn't date anyone'

'Really?'

'Really'

Susan shook her head and tried to concentrate as they had gone off the subject somewhat.

'How long do you need?' Susan finally asked him.

'A couple of months, maybe more I don't know'

'Just give me a couple of weeks to find someone to cover you'

'One'

'Fine. One'

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One week later at the admit desk.

'So he's gone for two months' Jing-Mei stated to Susan

'I'm not sure exactly, he wasn't very specific. Who was Emma by the way?'

'He met Emma in the summer when he went diving' informed Luka.

'Oh!' Susan replied 'What happened with Jenny then?'

Jing-Mei answered 'They met at a New Years party and she dumped him in March'

'Oh!' said Susan again

'Don't tell me, he's off to find his one true love' Jing-Mei said

'Well' replied Susan 'That will be difficult as she left about five and a half years ago. God only knows where she is now'

'You mean you lost touch?' asked Sam joining in the conversation

'Or she did' suggested Luka

'No. It was me' confessed Susan 'She'd email me every couple of months, then I changed my email address and I confess it slipped my mind to tell her. By the time I thought about it, well it was awkward you know when you lose touch with someone'

'When was the last time you heard from her?' asked Sam

'Umm' Susan thought and then said 'Over four years ago'

'Maybe he's tracked her down' said Connie

'No. He would have said something. He did mention Abby a while ago though and I told him that she might be happily married by now'

'Abby?' Luka and Jing-Mei said together.

'Yeah. Well it's possible. Actually I told Carter that the likelihood of finding her again was the other side of never'

'You mean like looking for a pin in a cornfield' Luka said

Everyone looked confused until Sam said 'You mean like looking for a needle in a haystack'

'Yes that's what I said' he replied.

Everyone looked at him and shook their heads.

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November 2009

Finding Abby was the last thing on Carters mind. Well not the last but definitely not the first.

He'd flown haphazardly round the country to a couple of hot locations before deciding on somewhere cooler.

Stepping on the plane he went to hire a car and chose an unsuitable fast sports car.

It had been snowing and the sky had a look about it that was hinting at more to follow, when he hit a patch of ice on the road. Where he ended up putting the car into the ditch at the side of the road.

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	2. The Other Side Of Never Chapter Two

AN: Thanks again to those who reviewed. I apologise that the story did not join the prologue, not used to adding chapters, hopefully it has worked with this chapter. If not I am totally useless, in case it doesn't I'll add a small disclaimer.

Just to clarify what a village is, in England it is a small/smallish settlement, too small to be called a town really. I don't know what the US equivalent is so I have used the word village. I will also apologise again if I have used any other words, which are English English as opposed to American English.

Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me etc.

The Other Side Of Never

Chapter Two

It had started snowing again and although it began as a light flurry it was now becoming heavier. The wipers were still cleaning the windscreen on the four-wheel drive, but the road conditions were deteriorating.

'Mom look! There's a car in the ditch' said Elise who was five going on twenty-five.

'Where?' her Mom replied.

'There, look. Maybe we should check no ones hurt'

'Elise, we need to get home before this weather gets any worse'

'You're a doctor Mom, you have'ta stop'

'Oh okay' she put the car in reverse and stopped at the side of the road. 'Stay here and look after Toby'

'He's sleeping'

'Elise' the tone of her mothers voice held a hint of warning.

This time it was Elise's turn to say 'Oh okay'

Dr Dirkiss got out of the car and went to inspect the vehicle sitting in the ditch. It was empty and by the look of it not too badly damaged just stuck in a rut so to speak. The engine was still slightly warm. She looked around a bit but the driver was nowhere in sight. She did however note that it was a hire car.

'Typical' she thought 'Some hot shot down here on holiday'

'It's empty' she told Elise as she got back into the car and they restarted their journey.

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Carter wished that he had left his holdall in the car. It was heavier than he thought and his body ached and he had cut his face when the car crashed. The snow was falling steadily now and he was becoming cold and wet. He had one thing he longed for and that was peace and quiet. Although at the moment he wished that a car, a truck, tractor, anything would come along the road to give him a ride to a garage, motel or a hospital. After a while of trudging along the road he swore he could hear the distant rumble of a vehicle coming down the road.

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'Hey Mom! Look there's someone walking down the road'

'Yeah I see him Elise'

'We gonna stop and rescue him, he could have been in the car'

'I don't think anyone local would be mad enough to walk along here in this weather, except maybe Agnes'

She slowed down and stopped just ahead of the dark figure walking towards them.

'Stay here and watch Toby' she thrust her cell phone into Elise's hand. 'Call 911 if I don't come back'

'But why?'

'Because he's a stranger, we don't know him'

'You treat strangers all the time at work'

'I'm not at work now I'm here with you guys'

Elise nodded and sat quietly gently taking her brothers hand in hers.

Dr Dirkiss got out of the car, the slamming of the door echoing in the stillness of the snow. The hunched figure approached slowly, which she thought, looked vaguely but strangely familiar.

He stopped when he saw a pair of feet, his snow covered head still bowed to the ground. He slowly raised his head and two pairs of eyes fixed on each other in amazement.

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'Carter!'

'Abby?'

'What are you doing out here in the middle of nowhere? I take it, it was your rental car back there in the ditch?' His sheepish look confirmed her suspicions and she continued 'You're not hurt are you? You could have been you know' she paused, she looked at him with concern in her eyes 'You weren't trying to kill yourself or anything?' She noticed the sticky blood on his face and almost reached out to touch it.

Carter looked at her and inwardly smiled. He let her rant and rave, deciding that her liked this more open caring Abby.

'Carter!' she yelled at him 'Answer me'

'What? Oh no' he replied

'No to what?'

'No I wasn't trying to kill myself I skidded on some ice'

'Maybe if you'd chosen a better car'

'It's a great car'

'Yes, it is, but not for driving up here at this time of year. Where are you going?'

'I don't know, do you know any hotels round this way'

'No'

'Oh'

'Back in town there's a few, but you're walking in the wrong direction'

'Oh'

'You'd better get your face looked at, I'll take you back to town' 

'You sure I mean... '

'Carter!'

'What!'

'Just get in the car I don't want to treat you for hypothermia or anything else for that matter' Abby said her patience beginning to wear thin.

She opened the trunk of her car and threw his holdall in. The she opened the passenger door and signalled for him to climb in. As she sat down she turned to Elise and Toby.

'Elise, Toby' she said 'I'd like you to meet an old friend of mine John Carter'

Carter turned round surprised to see two small children sitting there.

'Hi' said Elise

She gave him a look, the assessing kind that children sometimes give a person they meet for the first time. 

'Pleased to meet you' replied Carter feeling awkward.

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'You're very lucky' the ER attending said 'You got off lightly with a few stitches and some bruising. I suggest you don't spend the night alone in a hotel, have you any friends or family you could stay with?'

'No, not really' Carter said.

'There's room at my house, I've got a couple of spare rooms, you can stay with us' Abby said

'Are you sure?...... about me staying... with you... and your family?' asked Carter.

Whilst he thought inwardly that he didn't want to deal with seeing Abby with another man.

'Quite' she saw his worried look 'There's just us' she told him and saw him

visibly relax.

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They all piled back into the car. Carter with his face stitched up and much to everyone's amazement only bruising no cracked ribs or anything.

They drove back out of town, slowly as it was still snowing then past his rented car and they continued on for a couple of miles until they reached a small village. Abby turned down a side street, where they pulled up at a rambling red brick, double fronted Victorian house, even in it's dilapidated state, looked rather out of place here. 

'Okay guys we're home' Abby said to Elise and Toby as Carter shook himself out of a trance.

'You live here?' he asked unbelievingly.

'Yeah. Do you like it?'

'It's...' he paused 'Big and ....' he searched for the right words.

'Rundown' she offered.

'I was going to say, it had potential'

'Yeah, right' she replied, smiling and climbing out of the car. She helped Elise out and took Toby in her arms. 'Trunks open' she called to Carter.

Carter looked blankly at her.

'Your bag' she said 'It's in the trunk'

'Oh yeah' he replied slowly going to find it.

The house although warmer than outside was rather cold. Everyone seemed reluctant to shed their outdoor attire. Abby sighed and handed Toby to a startled Carter.

'I need to check the boiler, it's in the basement' she explained. 'Mommy will be back in a minute sweetheart, stay here with Elise and Carter' she told Toby, who was looking bewildered, rather like Carter really.

'It's okay' Abby heard Elise tell Carter and Toby as she went down to the basement, to give the boiler a kick, that usually worked.

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'Do you want to sit down mister?' Toby's heavy 'specially if your hurt' Elise said to Carter as she took him by the hand and led him to an under furnished lounge, where they sat side by side on the sofa. 

Toby wriggled off Carter's lap and found a toy train sticking out from under an armchair. He wheeled it along the arm of the chair immersed in his own little world of make-believe. 

'You okay mister? You didn't get hurt too bad when your car went in the ditch?' Elise asked him.

'No, a few cuts and bruises that's all' Carter smiled 'And you can call me Carter ...or John'

Elise looked up at him confused. 'What's your real name?'

'John Carter'

'My name is Elise Natasha Dirkiss, what's your middle name?'

'Trueman'

'Toby's middle name is Nathan'

'How old is he?'

'Nearly three, I'm nearly six' she said proudly, as there was a loud clunk from the pipes. Elise smiled 'Mom's got the heating working, we can take our coats off soon' she informed Carter who was still feeling rather uncomfortable.

Abby came into the room 'That should feel better soon. I'd offer you a bath but it will be a while before there is any hot water. Maybe I'll show you your room'

'Mom. I'm hungry' said Elise 

'Sweetheart let me show Carter his room and then I'll fix some dinner'

Abby took Carter upstairs and opened the first door they came to. It was sparsely furnished with an old iron bedstead and a couple of cupboards.

'Sorry it's a bit cold, this furniture came with the house' she explained as she fiddled with the radiator 'This should take the chill off'

They stood there awkwardly for a few moments, staring at each other.

Abby finally looked away and said 'I'll make the bed for you later. Bathroom is the next door on the left, yell if you need anything, I'd better fix some dinner' she gave him a half smile and after giving him some bedding and towels she headed downstairs to the kitchen.

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They had had dinner and the kids had gone to bed. Carter had gone to have a bath and Abby stood at the sink her arms immersed in the washing up water, half the washing up completed. She stood there and contemplated her day, what were the odds of meeting up with Carter again like this, a very troubled Carter. He had been troubled five and a half years ago when she'd left. Some things had changed. She had changed; her life had become complicated in ways she'd never imagined. Her responsibilities had altered. Many things had changed except the way she still felt about John Carter, even after all this time she knew she still loved him and always would. This time would be different, she, when the time was right would tell him how she felt. She had been given a second chance and this time she wouldn't hide behind her fears.

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	3. The Other Side Of Never Chapter Three

AN: Thank you if you have reviewed my story. I enjoy hearing your comments.

The Other Side Of Never

Chapter Three

Next Day

Carter woke to the sound of silence. It seemed deafening after the usual hub that he was accustomed to. He glanced at the clock, the red digits told him it was after 10am. As he moved he felt like every muscle in his body ached, then he remembered the previous day's events and groaned inwardly.

He got out of bed slowly and shivered, it was freezing. He felt the radiator, it was cold. Carter donned some jog pants and sweater and headed downstairs. The only sound was the creaking of the stairs.

When he reached the kitchen he saw a note pinned to the fridge.

'Carter' it read 'We have gone grocery shopping. Time 9:00, should be back about midday. Abby'

After a quick breakfast he went upstairs to shower until he remembered that there wasn't one and he would have to take a bath. Putting his hand upon the hot water tank he found it tepid. Carter headed back downstairs and located a torch. He cautiously made his way down to the basement. Carter shone the torch in the darkness as he descended the stairs and then shuffled over to the boiler.

'Abby kicked it yesterday' he thought 'Perhaps I should do the same'

He gave it a light kick and much to his surprise it started.

Elevated with himself Carter didn't pay too much attention to where he was treading on his return to the kitchen.

'Damn!' he said as he trod on something sharp.

When Carter finally hobbled to the kitchen, he sat down and examined his foot. He sighed exasperated with himself for treading on a nail, which he noted, was still embedded in his foot. After extracting it and throwing it in the trash he wrapped his foot in a tea towel.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Abby, Elise and Toby arrived home a little later than anticipated. Carter was dozing in his room, whilst resting his aching body especially his foot.

'Now Elise!' he heard Abby shout, followed by the pounding of small footsteps running up the stairs and the slamming of a bedroom door. After that it went quiet again and he fell into a heavy sleep. When he awoke a soft shaft of light spilled under his closed bedroom door,

Carter hobbled to the door and opened it, standing on the landing. There was a gentle hum coming from the television downstairs and a light shinning in what he understood was Elise's room.

He walked along the landing and tapped lightly on the door.

'Who's there?' asked Elise

'Me. Carter' he replied 'Can I come in?' he added poking his head around the door.

She smiled 'Sure'

'What are you doing?' he asked standing in the doorway of a very girly looking room. This room had definitely been decorated unlike most of the house.

'Playing Barbie's' she answered

'You've been up here for a while' he stated

'Yeah, I was mean to Toby, Mom got cross. I went down for lunch but I wanted to play without Toby messing up my game. You were asleep, Mom said to leave you at lunchtime'

'Yeah, I guess I was tired' He said looking around 'Who's that?' he asked pointing to a picture on Elise's bedside table.

'My Dad' she replied picking it up and handing it to Carter. 

Carter could immediately see a resemblance between the children and this man. Toby had Abby's eyes but this little girl in front of him didn't look like Abby at all.

'Would you like to see some more?' she asked expectantly 'I've got an album full'

Off his nod she rummaged underneath her bad and pulled it out.

'You have'ta come and sit here' she told him. She patted the floor next to her and Carter sat down tentatively, handing back the picture of her father.

They looked through the book together; it began with some pictures of her father as a boy.

'What's you Dad's name?' Carter asked

'Nick. Nicholas James Dirkiss' replied Elise proudly

They came to a picture of an adult Nick with his arm around a pretty woman.

'That's my Mom, Jodie' Elise told Carter.

'Your Mom?' he replied confused

'My real Mom'

'Abby's not your real Mom?'

'No, Jodie died when I was a tiny baby. We met Abby when I was one, I got sick and she fixed me up'

They flicked through some more pictures.

'When Dad and Abby got married I got to be a flower girl' she said proudly 'And I got a new Mom and then a baby brother'

'Where's your Dad now?' Carter asked softly

She looked up at him, her eyes were sad 'He went to heaven before Toby was born'

Carter cleared his throat and said 'How about we go downstairs and see what you Mom and Toby are up to?'

Elise smiled at him and replied 'Yeah'

She put her small hand in his and they went down to the kitchen. On the way she noticed that he was limping.

'You weren't limping yesterday' she noticed

'It's nothing' he told her, but she looked at him knowing otherwise.

'Mom!' Elise said and ran and gave Abby a hug

'You okay?' Abby asked Elise, concerned

'Yeah.... Mom?'

'Yes'

'I think Carter has an 'ow' on his foot' she told Abby ' I'm going to watch TV' she announced and walked off to the lounge.

'Okay sit' Abby said to Carter pulling out a chair for him. She sat next to him and motioned for him to show her his foot, still wrapped in the tea towel.

'You know I wondered where this went' she said to a guilty looking Carter.

'I took the nail out and threw it in the trash' he said

'How did you get a nail in your foot?' she asked

'I went down to the basement to get the boiler working, the nail was down there someplace'

'Without shoes?'

'Uh huh'

'You don't think that that was rather dumb?'

'Not at the time, no, it was freezing in here'

She raised her eyebrows and bit her lip, and then she bent her head and examined his foot.

'Your tetanus shot up to date?' she asked raising her head to catch his nod as he grimaced.

'Nasty' she commented cleaning it up and bandaging it properly. 'Next time wear shoes'

'There won't be a next time, I'm not going back down there'

'Then the next time you are alone you will freeze' she told him getting up and walking past him with a grin on her face. 'Oh by the way, I got the local garage to pick your car out of the ditch. You need to give them a call, the number's by the phone'

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Later that evening.

She poured herself a coffee and joined Carter at the kitchen table. He appeared lost in his thoughts.

'Penny for them' she ventured, he looked up his expression blank 'For your thoughts' she explained.

'Oh' he mouthed

'What brought you this far north?' she asked

'I was looking for some peace and quiet. I tried a couple of deserted beaches first but that didn't work for me'

'Are you still at County?'

He nodded 'Susan said she'd keep my job open for a bit, lets face it they are always crying out for attendings'

'Susan still there then?'

'Yeah, chief of emergency medicine. Most people haven't changed, Gallant has left though'

'How long do you plan to hang around for?'

'Depends if I outstay my welcome'

She smiled at him.

'Why did you leave County?' he asked

'To complete my residency elsewhere' she told him 'It was easier... for me... if I went away I couldn't keep dealing with you together with someone else. Reminding me what a hash I made of things. Maybe not the right thing but the easy option. Running away I guess like you're running now. Who is she?'

Carter laughed 'Ha! Why do you assume it's a woman?'

'Isn't it?'

'Partly, not really, women in general and everything else too, if truth be told'

'This is a fine place to stay, with me, I mean if you are avoiding women'

'Maybe not all women' he admitted staring at her.

'Well..' she started.

The moment was broken when Elise came in to the room asking for a drink of water. Carter wondered if he would find out what happened in the past five and a half years to the woman he knew as Abigail Lockhart, but was now Dr. Abigail Dirkiss. Although she seemed more open now the majority of information, he had got so far had been from Elise. Not that he had been very forthcoming either.

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	4. The Other Side Of Never Chapter Four

AN: Thank you if you reviewed. I think I should have made Elise one year younger, I apologise for my mistake, I hope it won't spoil the story for you all.

The Other Side Of Never

Chapter Four

The Next Day

Carter woke to the sound of laughter, the pain of his throbbing foot and the dull ache of the remainder of his body. Gingerly he pushed back the covers and found to his surprise that the icy chill of yesterday had been replaced with a tepid temperature. Encouraged by this he left the warm cocoon of his bed and walked to the window, pulling the drapes and looking outside, into the back yard. He noticed several sets of snow angels imprinted around. The sound of laughter caused him to look the other way and he saw the three culprits making an odd looking snowman. As he watched them he smiled the first genuine smile he had smiled for months.

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That evening

'You weren't working again today then?' Carter asked Abby as she sat on the sofa reading, while he sat opposite her in an armchair.

'Weekend off' she replied

'Who takes care of the kids while you work?'

'Usually Nick's parents who live on the outskirts of town. Elise goes to school there. There's not much here, Bert's garage and a convenience store'

'Quiet'

'I like it that way, we moved here when I finished my residency last year. It's easier for me if Nick's parents take care of the kids'

Carter nodded and stared into his coffee.

'Okay' Abby said after a few minutes 'How long are you going to hide out here and wallow in self pity'

'Huh?' Carter said looking up

'When are you going to get your life together John?' she said more softly

'Like you have you mean' he said somewhat bitterly. Seeing her hurt look he added 'sorry' and gave a long drawn out sigh.

'My life's okay you know' she told him 'Not....' she paused struggling for the right words 'Not really great, but good and the kids are wonderful and help me to...' she bit her lip and looked into the corner of the room. 'To survive and find a reason to fight for my dreams, have you got a reason to fight for your aspirations and dreams Carter?'

'Not really, no' he replied with a slight shake of his head as he bit down on his bottom lip.

'What do you want to do?' she asked

He looked directly at her and shrugged.

'You want to stay at County?'

He shrugged again.

'You want to continue working as a doctor?'

'Yeah' he replied nodding

'Well that's something isn't it? What about the Carter family stuff?'

'Carter family stuff as you put it is like a noose around my neck'

'Did you ever change the way the money was donated?'

'A bit after I came back from Africa but most of it still goes to the Arts and such'

'You could still change things Carter. Possibly ensure that the money went to needy children in this country or something, it's not too late'

'Time consuming though'

'Worth the effort'

'Maybe'

'If it makes you feel better, it's worth it' Abby told him

'Mmm' he muttered and gave her a wry grin.

'How long are you going to stay?' she asked him

'Trying to get rid of me already?'

'Nope' she shook her head 'Just seeing if you want a couple of shifts'

'What here in town? It's a small hospital Abby'

'I know I work there we are still short staffed, people still get sick. They are always looking for attendings in the ER, not that I'm down there that much'

'Mmmm. Pediatrics, interesting choice Abby'

'What you thought I would be an ER attending?'

He shook his head from side to side 'Not sure' he finally said

'So?' she asked

'What?'

'Do you want to pull a few shifts?'

'Oh yeah, yeah a couple of shifts would be good'

'I'll see what's available' she replied 'Give you a week or two to heal first'

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	5. The Other Side Of Never Chapter Five

AN: Don't worry it is a Carby

The Other Side Of Never

Chapter Five

Two Weeks later at County

'Do you have any idea when Carter is likely to return Susan?' Kerry asked

''Never' butt in Frank

Susan and Kerry frowned at him.

'He's going to do some retainer type work in some small Montana hospital, they called last week about references' Susan told Kerry, as Kerry headed back towards the elevator.

'Has he found his one true love?' asked Jing-Mei sarcastically.

'Don't know' Susan replied 'didn't say, sounded more cheerful though'

'Must be all that fresh air up there' suggested Lydia

'Must be' said Susan

'So he's not coming back to Chicago for Thanksgiving?' Jing-Mei asked

'No' said Susan 'Look guys' she addressed everyone who stood at the admit desk. 'I spoke briefly to the hospital up there who wanted references and such and he called and said he was fine and well that was about it'

Disappointed with the lack of gossip they all changed the subject.

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Montana same day

'They invited me for Thanksgiving?' Carter asked surprised.

'Sure, they want to meet you. The kids keep talking about you'

'Really!' he paused 'Elise and Toby's grandparents, want me to go to their home for the day?'

She nodded 'Apparently'

He smiled 'Sure; I'd like to go' he said

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Thanksgiving night.

Carter sat in bed pondering over the day's events. Thanksgiving had been one of the most enjoyable he had had in a long time. He had found Bill and Marjorie Dirkiss oozing with warmth and generosity. They had arrived early in the morning as Abby had left all three of them at the Dirkiss place and then headed off to work.

'Stay Mommy' wailed Toby

'I'll be here later okay' Abby told him as she gave him a big hug 'and I get to have Christmas off'

'Lucky you' said Carter 'I somehow agreed to work an early shift'

'Ah but you're not working today' she replied

'That's because I haven't started there yet'

He grinned at her and took Toby from her arms as Marjorie opened the door and the quartet waved goodbye to Abby.

Carter had found Bill and Marjorie welcoming. The rest of the family which consisted of Nick's two older sisters with their families, a much younger single brother and a very ancient looking Aunt. Along with Elise and Toby there were about another half a dozen children ranging from early teens to tiny tots.

Carter thought he could understand why Abby liked the Dirkiss family so much. To Carter this family seemed 'normal', something he and Abby had not had as children. Carter still didn't know what had happened to Nick and was unsure whether or not to ask. There were a few pictures dotted around of him. A couple of the pictures were with Elise and one or two included Abby, who looked happy. 

Was she happy now? She had appeared happy when she had returned from work later in the day. The kids were pleased to see her. If he was honest with himself, he had been too.

That was the trouble really, he loved her, still loved her had always been drawn to her and now was no exception. He had been dumb enough to dump her, thinking at time that it was for the best, for both of them. But the truth was he had done what he always accused her of doing. He ran away. From a difficult situation, the bad time which they were going through. It wasn't all Abby either although the drinking hadn't help, Eric either. Which came at the same time as his Grandmothers death and her will which left him in a situation that he had tried to avoid all his life. He was still stuck in a rut regarding the foundation, even now. He knew he couldn't stay here forever at some point there would be a problem and he would be expected to go and sort it out, whether it be in Boston, New York or Chicago.

What was done was done, he couldn't reverse the past, but he could influence the future, his future. He would stay here as long as he could. He knew he would have to talk to Abby, apologise for the past, and tell her about the last five or so years of his past, not that there was much to tell really.

Carter hoped that she would be more forthcoming than she had been, He ached to know what had happened to her since she left Chicago, so far she hadn't once mentioned Maggie or Eric the children hadn't either for that matter.

One thing was sure though, she was stronger than he was, stronger than she believed herself to be, otherwise she wouldn't be where she was now. There were so many unanswered questions, so many unasked questions between them. He knew he was being unreasonable to know everything already after all he had only been back in her life a few weeks. Abby had been generous enough to offer him a place to stay when he's needed it.

Abby appeared more relaxed now than she used to, happier than before, more self-assured. Maybe crashing into her life like this wasn't a good thing for her. Hell, he didn't know anything anymore. He was fed up of being alone and he had only really felt whole when he had been with Abby. Now, he was beginning to feel that way again.

Sleep was not favouring him tonight. Carter looked up at the ceiling, which needed painting, and the cracks needed filling too. He still didn't know what had possessed her to buy a house of this size, a rundown house at that which was five miles from town.

He got out his cell phone, the signal was poor but he managed to check his messages, there was one from his father saying he missed him at this time of year. He picked up a medical journal and started to read, the next thing he knew it was morning.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


	6. The Other Side Of Never Chapter Six

An: Spoiler wise there are none if you have seen up to S10 ep 10. So the stuff that is happening with Carter now on the show isn't relevant in this story. You'll understand what I mean as you read the chapter. Although I have read most spoilers and speculations I didn't want to bring any of that in to this story. 

The Other Side Of Never

Chapter Six

22nd December 2009

'They can have my bed' said Carter

'No' Abby replied 'That's you're room now, Eric can have the top bunk in Toby's room and Maggie can share with me, or Elise can share with me'

'No Abby, let Maggie have my room, I'll take the sofa'

'It won't be good for your back, will it?'

'There're only here for a few days and I am working early Christmas Day'

Abby sighed 'Okay' she caved 'We'll do it your way, but there's something I haven't told you, lets go sit down'

They went into went into the kitchen where Abby poured some coffee and they sat down facing each other at the table.

'Well?' he asked 'What do you want to talk about?' 

'Maggie and Eric, things have changed since, well since you last saw them'

'How?' his brow furrowed.

'Maggie's good' she started 'But Eric, well he just had trouble, coming to terms with everything, it was difficult for him'

Carter nodded and said 'Go on'

'Well, he tried to kill himself'

'Seriously tried?'

Abby nodded 'More than once in fact. The last time was just after Toby was born and Eric was almost successful. He... ' she struggled to find the words to continue. Carter waited silently for her to speak. 'He's not the same man you knew in Chicago. He OD'd badly and they got him back but he was down a long time. He'll probably remember you, he's just changed, he different that's all. He lives with Maggie and she makes sure they take their meds. I thought at one point she might... well you know have another manic episode, but she seems okay. She really loves the kids, I think that keeps her going' she sipped her coffee, paying great attention to the detail of the grain of wood running through the table.

'How do you feel about it?' Carter asked

'Now or then?'

He gave his head a slight shake and said 'Both'

'Well ermm.. Then I felt' she bit her lip 'It was difficult, Toby was really tiny, he was three weeks early and only a couple of weeks old at the time, Nick had just died and then my brother nearly died. How do you think I felt John?'

He looked at her and reached across the table and took her hands in his. His expression pained.

'It was a bad time, but, but I had the kids. I couldn't let them down or Maggie. I'll be honest with you, I thought of drinking I even bought a bottle of vodka, but I smashed it against the wall. Then I managed to get to a couple of meetings'

He massaged her hands with his and said quietly 'And now, how do you feel now?'

She sighed, sniffed and took a deep breath. 'Now. Now I've come to terms with what happened to Eric and Nick. I always had to do everything on my own so why should now be any different. Sometimes I want to go out to a big open space and yell that I don't want to do this on my own anymore. But who would hear me? Who cares anyway?'

'Me' he answered. Seeing the unsure expression on her face that she wasn't sure if she believed him. He couldn't blame her for being reluctant to trust him again though.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Christmas Day

When Carter entered the house chaos reigned. Mostly in the form of an elderly looking lady, dressed as though she was wearing all the clothes she possessed. He guessed that the stench, which filled his nostrils, was emanating from her body.

'Oh John!' Maggie said relieved to see him after initial reservations two days earlier.

At the same time the kids yelled 'Carter' and threw themselves around his legs, a dog yapping at his heels.

'What's going on?' he asked half in a daze.

'John' Maggie said more firmly this time.

'Yes' he turned his attention to her

'You have to go find Abby' she told him

'Where is she?' he asked

'She went to look at my Daisy about three hour's ago' she elderly looking woman said.

'You have to go get her' Maggie insisted

'What? Where?' Carter stuttered

'She went to my farm' said the woman

He felt his pant leg being tugged 'Agnes lives next door' Elise told him. Carter looked at her with a puzzled expression. 'Honeyfoot farm, there's a track up the road' she added.

' 'Bout a mile or so, it's a long track to my property' Agnes said

'Oh' he managed

'You best go find her' said the woman he now knew was Agnes.

'It will be dark soon' Carter replied

'Exactly why you need to go find her' urged Maggie 'Go and change, I'll get you a torch'

Resigned Carter headed up the stairs to change; thanking God that he had invested in a pair of gumboots.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carter trudged through the snow-covered track; surprised to see so much of the stuff as the roads had been clear for days. He gazed up to the grey sky and guessed that there were a couple hours of daylight left. He hoped that the snow would hold off.

A small rundown rustic farmhouse and barn suddenly loomed into his sight as he rounded a bend and he wondered if everywhere round here needed updating.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

'They might not be back 'til morning' said Agnes looking out the window. 'It's gonna snow'

'Doesn't look too bad' commented Eric

'Trust me, it'll snow' she said

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

'Abby!' yelled Carter as he strode into the yard.

The house was still, so he walked in the direction of the barn. The door creaked as he opened it, the barn smelt unsurprisingly of hay and animals. He noticed a few chickens, goats and a horse. As he scanned the area he noticed Abby at the far end huddled over something.

When he reached her he crouched down at her side.

'Hey Carter' she said without looking up

'How did you know it was me?' he asked

'I just heard you yell 'Abby', bit of a give away' she replied as she stroked a cow which lay on it's side.

'What have you been doing?'

'Nursing a sick cow. I told Agnes I wasn't a vet, but she insisted I come and look anyway at poor old Daisy'

'This is Daisy?' he asked incredulously.

'Yeah' Abby said rising to her feet and taking a hole ridden blanket off the side and covering the animal completely.

'It's dead then' Carter stated bluntly.

'Uh Huh, a couple of minutes before you arrived. I had to stay I couldn't leave her to die alone'

As they walked to the door Abby checked on the other animals as they passed them. Opening the door they discovered that it had started snowing again.

'We'd better wait this out' Abby said

'Where?' asked Carter

Abby pointed to the ramshackle two-storey farmhouse, which looked as though a strong wind would blow it down.

'There?' he said unbelievingly

'You can stay here if you prefer' she told him.

He followed her to the house and was surprised when she walked straight through the door. The house smelt much like the old woman, mixed with old dog. Inside the building it was sorely in need of remodelling, there was clutter everywhere and a remarkable amount of dog hair.

Carter was surprised when Abby switched on the light; the place was so antiquated he was beginning to think that it hadn't been fitted with electricity.

As if reading his thoughts Abby said 'We'll have to build a fire there's no central heating here. Agnes keeps spare wood out back' and she walked off to find it.

After they had started a fire Abby said 'Let's look upstairs for some bedding, it will be too cold to sleep up there. You think my place is cold wait 'til you've been upstairs here'.

She took his hand and led him out of the room and up the stairs, where they first came to a bathroom.

'It's freezing up here' exclaimed Carter looking at Abby who had a told you so expression on her face. 'I don't think I'll bother to use the bathroom much'

'There's a cloakroom downstairs' explained Abby noticing Carter's relieved look 'The kids used it when we visited in the summer'

They ventured along the landing, their warmth breath showing in the cold atmosphere of the upper floor of the farmhouse.

'This is Agnes's room' Abby informed Carter

'How did you know?' he asked

'I came up here when she was ill earlier this year. I think it's the only furnished room up here'

He looked disbelievingly at her and went to check the other two doors before coming back to her side. 'They're full of junk' he clarified.

As they were descending the stairs something caught Carter's eye. When they reached the doorway to the lounge he put his hand on her shoulder and brought her to a halt, then he slowly turned her around.

He cupped his hand around her cheek and drew her face around to meet his. Then he tentatively bent his head and brushed his lips with hers, murmuring 'Mistletoe'

She looked up and sure enough the mistletoe hung above them in the doorway. She smiled at Carter and tugged his head down for a more adventurous kiss.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They lay side by side near the fire, fully dressed and covered with blankets from Agnes's bed. Carter had suggested calling Maggie but Abby had informed him that firstly Agnes didn't have a phone, secondly her cell needed recharging and thirdly the signal was poor here. Carter replied by telling her he'd forgotten his cell anyway. Maggie and the kids knew where they were so they decided not to worry.

They had managed to find something to eat and had drunk scalding coffee, which had warmed them somewhat. As it was still cold they had huddled together under the blankets by the fire.

'It's amazing, isn't it?' Carter broke the silence.

'What?' said Abby turning to face Carter who was lying on his back with his hands behind his head.

'This. Here'

Abby looked at him with a blank expression on her face.

'I mean that someone actually lives here, like this'

'I guess it's normal for Agnes, she's old and well as far as I know lived here all her life. She must be touching on eighty.

'And she runs a farm by herself?' Carter asked incredulously.

'Not really, not anymore. She rents most of the land off and lives off that income. She only has the animals left you saw in the barn'

'And the dog?'

'And the dog. Her best friend Sophia Jackson used to live where we do now. That's why it's so rundown, she died about eighteen months ago age ninety-six'

'Really! What about the mistletoe, why do you think she has it hanging there?'

'Arthur'

'Arthur?' 

'Mmm, she has the hots for him, he's Bert's father, from the garage, he usually comes up here once a week to play cards'

They fell into silence once more after a while Carter said 'This is a long way from Chicago'

Homesick?'

'No'

'What then?'

'It's just odd being here with you'

'Here with me as in at Agnes's house or here with me generally?'

'Both'

'Oh'

'Abby?'

'Mmmm?' she replied

'I'm sorry'

'What? Sorry for what?'

'About.... You know'

'No Carter I don't, what are you talking about?'

'Before'

'As in today? Yesterday?'

'No. As in when I sent you that letter'

'Oh'

Neither spoke for what seemed an eternity.

'It was a long time ago' Abby finally said

'Still I felt it was hanging between us'

'I am too you know'

'You are too, what?'

'Sorry, I mean it wasn't all you was it'

'It was a lot of things Abby, I guess the timing was out'

'It usually is with me' she said wistfully

'Well, it was with me too'

'Okay. Well as we are talking about things. Can we start over? Or is there someone else?' she dared to ask

'There's no one else. I haven't had a serious relationship in years'

'What about Kem?'

'That just didn't work out, like the rest of my relationships actually. If you really want to know I've dated two women this year, neither of them were serious. So you want to start over?'

'Don't you? I thought we could at least try, slowly though because of the kids'

'Yes but....'

'But what Carter, neither of us are getting any younger. I thought I was the indecisive on, the one who always put their life on hold'

'Mmmm' he replied 'You say that, but were so indecisive when you decided to have a family?'

'I'm not ready to talk to you about that, Nick and I were only married for six months when he died, I will tell you I promise'

'Don't make promises you can't keep'

'I won't, I'm not'

'So are we arguing already?'

'Are we starting over?'

'Yes' they said simultaneously.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As dawn broke the following morning Carter woke and was about to stretch when he felt a weight upon his chest. He looked down and saw Abby who was still sleeping.

Carter decided that having her here with him felt good, right. Even if they were lying on a hard wood floor, which was not the most comfortable place to be.

He heard footsteps on the porch outside and gently shook Abby.

'Abby!' he whispered urgently

'What?' she asked startled

'There's someone out front' he added

They heard the front door open and they both sprang out of their makeshift bed, glad that they were still dressed.

'It's okay, I won't tell' said Agnes coming into the lounge and staring at the pair of them.

'What?' spluttered Carter 'You could have knocked'

'It's my home' Agnes replied

'Yes...but I.. we...'

'Errr... Agnes' started Abby rescuing Carter from his embarrassment. 'About Daisy, I well umm I'm sorry she died'

'I know dear I went to the barn first. I'll get Burt come and dig me a hole'

Carter looked at her in amazement.

'For my Daisy, bury her properly'

'We'd better get going' Carter managed struggling into his outdoor wear as quickly as possible.

'Snow's deep in places, watch where you tread' Agnes told them as she saw them leave her property. 'Thank you Abby, for what you did, I am sure Daisy appreciated you being here'

As they trudged out of sight Agnes went into the barn and wept for the loss of Daisy.

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	7. The Other Side Of Never Chapter Seven

AN: This is a short chapter compared to the previous one, sorry it's just the way it goes. Thank you for reviewing, I appreciate your comments.

The Other Side Of Never 

Chapter Seven

January 2010

'They're in here' Marjorie led Carter into the large kitchen where Elise and Toby were drawing.

'What are you making?' he asked

'Birthday cards, for Mom' Elise told him

'Well' he said inspecting them 'They look great, shall we go and buy her a present?'

'Grandma usually takes us shopping for Mom' Elise told him

''But I have some things I need to do today, so John will take you this time' Marjorie said to them whilst giving Carter a reassuring smile.

'Okay' said Toby climbing off his chair to get ready

'Coming' said Elise reluctantly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They had been walking round the shops a while Carter had taken them to a couple of places he need to go for his gift to Abby and now they were searching for something special for Elise and Toby to give her.

'Up' said Toby moving in front of Carter his arms raised.

Carter sighed and picked him up.

'So' Carter said to Elise 'What have I done?'

She looked up at him frowning 'Nothing'

'Doesn't seem like nothing, you haven't wanted to talk to me lately'

'It's just stuff'

'What kind of stuff? Here lets grab a soda and you can tell me'

'I don't want a drink' she replied

'Well I do and if we sit down for a bit Toby can have a rest and then I won't have to carry him'

'You should have bought the stroller'

'Where does Mom keep it?'

'In the car'

Carter looked at her 'You could have told me this morning'

Elise just shrugged.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They sat at a table of a busy cafe with their drinks.

'So' Carter said to Elise 'Tell me'

'I know, I saw'

'What?' he asked

'I asked Mom, she told me'

'About what?'

'You and Mom'

'Oh, you don't want me to date your Mom?'

'You haven't been on a date'

'Well no'

'I saw you kissing...... in the kitchen'

'That upset you?'

She shrugged and said 'No... It's just...'

'You're not used to your Mom with a guy?'

'A bit. I don't remember my Dad anymore'

'You have lots of pictures'

'But I don't remember him' she shook her head mournfully

'That makes you sad'

She nodded. Carter bit his bottom lip as he tried to think of something to say to make this little girl feel better.

'I never knew my.... Jodie' she said

'I know, but Abby really loves you the same as she loves Toby'

Elise nodded 'I love her too'

'Me too and that's why we're going to sort this out'

'I'm okay, I just don't want you to go' she finally admitted

'I'm not going anywhere'

'You might' the child answered 'People leave'

'Not right now. If I have to go away I'll talk to you guys first okay' he told them.

Elise smiled and nodded 'Okay...... You know what?'

'What?' Carter asked

'I feel hungry now'

'You do?' he answered

'Yeah'

'You mean I have to splurge out on ice cream'

She nodded smiling and Toby squealed with glee.

'Okay but don't tell Mom I gave you ice cream before dinner'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

10th January 2010

'I don't know if a surprise birthday is such a good idea' Carter told Marjorie as they gathered in Elise and Toby's grandparents' home.

'Get away, it's only the six of us, including Abby' she replied 'She'll be fine'

'Okay guys she's just pulled up' Bill told them coming into the room. He put his finger to his lips and said 'Ssshh'

Toby was jumping up and down on the sofa; Marjorie picked him up and tried to quieten him down a bit.

Bill went and answered the door and ushered Abby inside.

He whispered in her ear 'The kids have planned something special for your birthday'

'Okay' she mouthed back smiling.

She opened the lounge door and the kids yelled out happy birthday, Marjorie embraced her in a warm hug and Carter stood by the food looking goofy. They all had fun eating all the food and birthday cake Marjorie and the kids had cooked.

Then Elise said 'Present time', she led Abby to a chair and Toby resented her with an odd looking gift.

'Wow, this looks pretty' she said as she examined the wrapping pretending to give it a little shake.

'Don't shake it' said Elise alarmed.

'Sorry' Abby replied as she unwrapped it gingerly. She was surprised to find a mottled pink vase.

'I chose it' said Elise proudly, who was very into pink.

'Thank you it's lovely' Abby told her and she gave then both a kiss.

'Here, nothing very interesting' said Marjorie giving Abby an envelope. 'Go out and treat yourself'

'Thanks' Abby said opening the envelope to find some money.

Marjorie, Bill, Elise and Toby all looked up at Carter who was still picking at the food.

'Skipped lunch' he replied with a mouthful, trying to swallow it quickly. He took a square box out of his pocket and gave it to Abby. 'Happy Birthday' he said.

Inside the box was an oval shaped locket; she looked at him quizzically.

'Open it' he said softly.

Opening it she found a really cute picture of Elise and Toby together and room on the other side for another picture.

'You can use the other side for who ever you wish' he told her

'It's really beautiful' she replied, kissing him on the cheek, not feeling she could show her complete appreciation in front of everyone. 'Thank you'

'We had the picture taken last week when we went shopping with Carter' Elise told everyone.

'Oh that's what you did. I just thought you went to have ice cream' Abby said smirking.

'You told I bought ice cream' Carter said to the kids devastated that they had been caught out.

They both shook her heads.

'They had streaks of chocolate and strawberry down their clothes Carter' Abby said

'Oh' he replied sheepishly

'It's okay' she said smiling 'Thanks guys, all of you, you have really made my day'

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	8. The Other Side Of Never Chapter Eight

AN: Thank you to those who reviewed, please continue to do so I enjoy hearing from you all.

The Other Side Of Never

Chapter Eight

Early February 2010

'Let's make some Valentine's day cookies' Marjorie said to Elise and Toby, so they set to the task with great enthusiasm.

'Can we take them home later?' asked Elise

'Sure can' her grandmother replied

'Grandma, d'you think Mom and Carter would like to go on a date on Valentines day, 'cause it's a day for people in love'

'That's a good idea, I'll suggest it later' she replied as they got stuck in with the task of making the cookies.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carter and Abby went together to collect the kids from their Grandparents home later that day.

'Hey, come on in' said Marjorie 'We've just finished baking cookies'

She ushered them into the warm kitchen where the children were putting their cookies in a tin to take home.

'Want a cookie?' Toby asked, offering the still open tin to Carter and Abby. 

'Wouldn't miss one of these' said Abby biting into one of the cookies.

'Thanks I'll have one....what is this?' Carter asked turning the cookie around in his fingers

'It's a love heart silly' Elsie replied

'Oh yeah, I see that now' he answered and took a bite 'Mmmm, good'

'You should take Mom out; Valentine's day is special for people who kiss' Elise suggested to Carter 

Abby and Carter raised their eyebrows and glanced at each other amused.

'Yeah' added Bill joining the conversation 'you two should go on a date'

'When's the last time, you went on a date together?' Marjorie asked

'Six or seven years ago' Carter replied

'I'd say it was about time for the next one' Marjorie told them

'We'll take care of the kids, they can stay here, why don't you go on a date for Valentines?' Bill pushed

Abby looked from Bill to Marjorie to the kids to Carter and back to Marjorie.

'It's not a good day to go on a date and I'm sure you don't want....' 

Abby was cut off and Marjorie interrupted 'We wouldn't offer to watch the kids if we didn't want to'

'But Valentine's Day' Abby replied

'It's the perfect day' answered Marjorie, using a tone that wasn't to be argued with.

And so it was settled.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Abby came into the dining room where Carter was doing some work on his laptop.

'I'm sorry about earlier' she told him as he looked up. 'You know about the kids and Marjorie and Bill pushing for us to go on a date on Valentines, I know you probably don't want to'

He shrugged slightly and said 'Why not?' before returning to the screen.

Abby bit her lip, tipped her head to the side and said 'Mmmm' as she turned and walked out of the room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Late Valentines Evening

They had gone into town for a meal after work; it had gone better than Abby thought it would but Carter had been a little withdrawn.

'Coffee?' Abby asked Carter as she put her keys on the rack and took her coat off.

'That'll be great, I'll go get the boiler working' he replied

'Have you still got your shoes on?' she asked

'Yeah, learnt my lesson last time' he shouted as he made his way down to the basement.

A few minutes later he returned and joined Abby in the kitchen.

'It's all working' he stated he took his coffee from Abby's outstretched arm and went into the lounge together, where they sat close but not touching on the sofa.

'Did you have a good time tonight?' Abby asked him, when he didn't reply she continued 'Or would you preferred not to have gone?'

'I try to keep busy on Valentine's' he finally replied 'Takes my mind off things'

'You still think about that night?'

'How could I forget the one night that changed my life and took Lucy's, who I was responsible for'

'I'm sorry Marjorie and Bill pushed for us to go out' then almost inaudibly she added 'surprisingly really'

They sat in silence for a while until Abby asked 'Do you want to talk?'

'I think it's all be said before. I never can get it out of my head that if I had handled things differently it wouldn't have happened, Lucy would still be alive, I never would have gone to Atlanta'

'It wasn't to be though; we can't change our pasts however we may want to. What we've done or failed to do. You don't think there are things I wish I'd done differently?'

He looked at her and then at his mug paying great attention to the drink.

'I hear what you're saying, normally I'm fine it's just this day. I'll never forget what happened as long as I live'

'You don't have to forget, but you have to move on. You need to get through the day without wishing you should had died instead of Lucy'

'That's not what I'm thinking?'

'It's not?' she asked

'No, not at the precise moment'

'Then what are you thinking?'

'That I want to kiss you'

'Oh'

He laid his mug on the floor before sliding his arm around the back of the sofa.

'Well?' he asked her.

'Are you changing the subject?' she answered.

'Not really. I feel better now we've talked about it and maybe next year it won't be so bad, after all today was a decade since that day, a milestone really'

He pulled her towards him and softly began to kiss her, when thing began to get more heated, Abby stilled.

'Stop! I don't know if I can do this' she said pulling away from him

'What?' Carter said confused

Abby sighed 'I mean it's been along time since I slept with anyone and today is just...... ' She took a deep breath 'We discussed why today is hard for you, well it's hard for me too........ Today is the third anniversary of Nick's death, that's why I was surprised Bill and Marjorie wanted to have the kids stay over'

'You never said'

'I never said anything much, you found out he had died from Elise if you remember'

He nodded in response. 'What happened? Tell me?'

'John... I .... um'

He reached and put his hand on her arm to reassure her.

'Start at the beginning, it doesn't matter if it takes all night, this night there's just us. Tonight is for us, just you and me' he said

They sat quietly while she gathered herself together.

'We lived in the city, near Mom and Eric. I had worked during the day; God knows why I was almost eight months pregnant. Nick was a fire fighter and was on nights when he went to work. They had a call to an Indian Restaurant; the kitchen was burning out of control, the apartments upstairs were engulfed in the blaze. Nick went in with a colleague, oh God I think his name was Clive, they found a couple of kids in one of the apartments and on the way down, well the stairs collapsed and some the ceiling fell down from above. Nick and the young boy he was rescuing didn't exit the building. Clive made it though with the little girl, but they died in hospital.'

Carter didn't know what to say he never expected Abby to tell him anything like that. Fortunately for him she continued. 

'I always feel guilty I never should have married him really, I didn't love him, fond of him yes but I couldn't love him when I still loved you. Nick was persuasive like his mother and we got married because of Toby. He only ever lived with Jodie and he wanted things to be right this time. I should never of agreed, except there was Elise'

'And you let me go on about Lucy and stuff, when all this happened to you'

She shrugged 'Well I figured you to needed to talk. So. Now you know'

'I never imagined anything like that. What happened after?'

'You know, I mean, Toby was born two weeks later, I was alone Marjorie and Bill had gone home, Maggie was babysat Elise and I went to hospital alone, and it was difficult but then, I was kind of living in a haze, it wasn't until after the stuff with Eric that reality hit me.

I decided after I completed my residency that it would be easier to live near Marjorie and Bill, Maggie and Eric were coping alright without me and I had my own responsibilities. I sold the house and bought this outright, with the profit from the other one and some life insurance that Nick had. I guess I wanted some place safe for the kids and at the time I thought I could use any extra energy I had doing the place up'

'I'll take a while though'

'It's better than when I bought it, I had to have the place rewired and had some structural work carried out. Then I made sure the kids rooms looked good, before we moved in, later I did my room and the kitchen. Sorry about your room'

'I don't know I'm sort of used to it now, the bed's a bit lumpy'

'What are you hinting at?'

'Nothing'

'Umm John Carter I think I know you better than that, besides that bed is an antique, it belong to Sophia Jackson's mother'

Carter looked at her clearly unimpressed with that last piece of information. 

'Abby?'

'What?'

'I'm proud of you, of what you have achieved of how you've handled things life has thrown at you, much better than I would've'

'I don't know about that'

'Oh yeah I do' he looked at her intently and traced his index finger down the side of her face. 'You are so special and I'm a jerk for letting the best thing in my life get away'

'I don't think I was the best thing at the time, maybe this it the timing we have been waiting for' she replied 'And you're right maybe it's time you tried out my bed'

She took him by the hand and led him upstairs to her bedroom.

'Are you sure you're ready?'

She bit her lip and nodded and walked back towards the bed pulling him on top or her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One Week Later.

Carter came off the phone, picked his holdall up from the hallway and closed the door behind him. He drove into town to the Dirkiss's home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

'We need to talk' he pulled Elise and Toby on to his lap before he continued 'You remember I told you that if I ever had to leave I'd talk to you first' They nodded. 'Well I have to go away for a while, but I'm going to come back, okay?'

'You have to leave?' Elsie asked solemnly

'Yes'

'And you're going to come back?' she asked again

'Yes'

Elise sighed and shared a sorrowful look with Toby.

'You really can't stay' she stated tears welling in her eyes, he hoped it wouldn't be this hard to say goodbye to Abby.

'I'm sorry. I have to go to New York and Chicago, ask Mom to show you where they are on the map'

'You'll call?' she said

'I'll try; I have to do some grown up things'

She nodded and flung her arms around him, seeing this Toby did the same. Carter bit back the urge to join them and cry, he was surprised by his response to the situation.

After a few minutes he said 'I need to go, I have to talk to your Mom'

'She's working'

Carter nodded 'I know'

After saying goodbye to everyone he left and made his way to the hospital.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On arriving there he went to the appropriate place to locate Abby.

'Dr Dirkiss?' he asked the clerk

'She's with a patient, she won't be long, John isn't it?'

'Pardon?' he replied

'Sorry, you're Dr John Carter?' she repeated

'Yeah that's right' he answered as he ran his fingers through his hair impatiently.

'I'll see what I can do' she said as she went off.

Minutes ticked slowly by as he waited pacing the hallway, trying to figure out what to tell her. Remembering the last time he had left her, that had not gone well, it was also a very long time ago.

'John, John' she startled him out of his reverie

'Abby'

'What is it? What's wrong?'

'We need to talk'

They went into an empty room and she stood waiting for him to tell her.

'I have to go, for a bit, a few weeks maybe. Foundation problem and as head of the damn thing I have to fly to New York, then Chicago, maybe Boston I don't know. I've booked a flight, umm I really need to leave, to get to the airport'

She looked at him chewing on her bottom lip and he knew it was going to be more difficult than saying goodbye to the kids.

'I'll be back. I promise I'm coming back. It should only take a few weeks. You can call me on my cell or at my mother's flat or at the house. I left some numbers by the phone, just in case. Say something Abby, please'

'Ill miss you, we've only just ....'

'I know and I'll be back and we can continue what we've started again. You just have to trust me on this'

She nodded not trusting herself to speak and moved to hug him as he enfolded her in his embrace.

As Abby watched him leave she said quietly 'I love you' and silently wished that he had heard her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


	9. The Other Side Of Never Chapter Nine

AN: Thank you for reviewing, especially jaclyn4 who commented on my previous story, making two reviews for it. Here is the next instalment.

The Other Side Of Never

Chapter Nine

That evening

Carter

The flight to New York went smoothly, but instead of thinking about what lay ahead on this trip he had just embarked on his thoughts went to the last three months of his life, how he had changed, for the better. He was not looking forward to seeing his mother, it had been eighteen months since they had last seen each other and the phone conversations they had had since then had been stilted.

Abby

Abby arrived home with the kids; the house was unusually still. In fact they all were rather quiet and subdued as they moved through their evening routine and went to bed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Next Day

Carter

Carter didn't see his mother until the following morning, which happened to be a Sunday. She emerged as he was occupied with paperwork, which had been delivered to his mother's apartment the previous day.

'Morning John' her voice cut through the silence

'Mother' he replied curtly

'Sorry I missed you last night, there was a function that I couldn't cancel at such short notice'

He nodded as an answer, without looking up.

'I thought maybe we could have lunch one day whilst you are here' she stated, not asked.

'Ermm....' he shook his head as he thought 'Today, I'll probably be tied up the rest of the week'

'Oh, today' she replied, having wanted to have a quiet day to herself, but then she hadn't seen her son for a long time. 'Yes, today would be fine, I haven't got any other plans' she told him, leaving him to continue with what he was doing.

Which was trying to concentrate on the task in hand, but his mind kept straying to Abby and the kids. They had planned to take them out for the afternoon today, he wondered if she would go ahead without him. He wanted to call but resisted the urge to do so, and more importantly he'd left without telling her that he loved her.

Abby

Abby true to her word took the kids out for the afternoon swimming. The local pool was filled with families with the same idea and she wished Carter was there, not only as she missed his company but also for an extra pair of hands, especially when they got out the pool and became not only wet but cold as well. It was one thing changing yourself but when you had two children to warm up first, Abby found that she always felt cold for ages after.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That evening

Carter 

Carter punched the numbers into the phone and listened to it ring.

'Hello' came a little voice trying to sound professional and grown up 'My Mom can't come to the phone right now but...'

'Elsie?' he cut in

'Hey Carter?' the little girl replied, then to her Mom shouted 'Carters on the phone'

Carter held the handset away from his ear as she did this unable to hear Abby's response.

'Mom said she'd be in a minute'

'Did you have a good day?'

'Yeah, we went swimming and I swam by myself'

'Wow!' he replied'

'Here's Mom' she said handing the phone to Abby.

'Hey' Abby said to Carter 'How are things?'

'I was going to ask the same thing to you?'

'Things are okay, missed you today, the kids have been kind of quiet since you left'

'I missed you too, all of you actually. I read through some details and had lunch with my mother'

'How did that go?'

'Better than expected' he replied hearing a big crash, through the handset and then a wail.

'Umm Carter I've gotta go'

'Sounds like it, call you soon, okay, bye'

Before he realised it he'd hung up still without telling her how he felt.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

28th Feb 2010

Abby

'......Happy birthday dear Toby happy birthday to you' sung Abby and Elise rather out of tune as Toby blew the candles out on his cartoon character cake.

'I want the head bit' Toby said

'You can have the head bit, let me cut it' Abby replied taking his already sticky fingers off the cake in an effort to cut it. 'Elise, cake?'

She nodded and said 'I don't mind what bit I get, I mean it's not Barbie or a princess is it? She looked disapprovingly at the cake her brother had chosen from the store.

'Well it wouldn't do for everybody to like the same' Abby said

'I guess not' she replied

'I'm sure it tastes good' Abby told her

Reluctantly Elise nodded in agreement as she took a bite. 'Not as good as Grandma's cakes though'

'Grandma has time to do her own baking' Abby told her

'Maybe if Carter was back you would have had time to bake one' suggested Elise.

Abby raised her eyebrows and looked at the children.

'He'll be back when he can, you know that don't you?'

'Yeah' they both replied through mouthfuls of cake.

'And he called earlier to speak to both of you'

They nodded.

'We go and see him?' suggested Toby

'No we can't, not right now. Elise has school and I want to take some time off in the summer so we can all go on vacation'

'Carter too?' asked Elise

'I don't know I haven't asked him, maybe' she replied not wanting to make a promise that she couldn't keep. 'Right now though I think that you both need to get cleaned up, I can't tell the difference between you guys and the cake'

Elise and Toby giggled.

'I'll go and run you a bath and then we'll call your other Grandma and Uncle Eric, okay? She told them getting and making sure they followed her up the stairs to the bathroom.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

March 2010

Carter

Despite his initial reservations about changing the way the foundation money was spent, Carter made the time to make some alterations. Changes that he felt happy about. Changes that felt right and would benefit lots of deprived children.

He had also sorted out the majority of problems that had arisen, the few remaining would take a couple of weeks to finalise and while he waited he decided to pop into Cook County Hospital to see how everyone was doing and maybe work a few shifts.

As he walked into the hospital he noticed that nothing had changed since he left in October. It was buzzing with people, staff patients, and family members of the patients. He mad his way over to the admit desk where he saw Jerry.

'Hey' he said to the desk clerk. 'Busy in here'

'You staying?' Jerry asked 'Susan will be glad to see you'

'Only for a bit' he replied

'Only for a bit what?' asked Jing-Mei walking up to Carter 'Welcome back, by the way' she added

'I'm only here for a couple of weeks' he answered

'Carter!' Susan exclaimed setting eyes on him and coming over to give him a hug 'You're back?'

'Not really no, but I thought if you needed a hand for a couple of weeks, I have some business to take care of though'

'Wow, so you're not staying, for good?' she asked

'Not at the moment, no'

'What did you meet the girl of your dreams?' joked Susan

'Something like that'

'I was joking Carter' she answered

'I'm not' he said, then changing the subject said 'When can I start?'

'Now' she suggested

'Fine' he said and walked off to change.

'What's going on with him?' Jing-Mei asked Susan

Susan only shrugged deciding that she would find out later.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few days later Carter called Abby.

'Hello' croaked Abby into the phone.

'Hey, you okay?'

'Yeah, I think I've picked up that 'flu' type virus that the kids have got, they also kindly gave it to Marjorie and Bill, who are really under the weather. So much so when I went to work today I had to get their Aunt Claire come and watch them'

'And you passed it round the hospital, nice' he commented

'Yeah, well I'm generous like that'

'I've noticed'

'Do you know when you're coming back?'

'Not sure, a week or so, you better get well before I get back I don't want to catch your virus'

'And I don't want to nurse a baby, a big baby, like you. Anyway I've got two babies already, plus all the really sick kids at work'

'Are you calling me a wuss'

'Me? That's not like me, to suggest that'

'Mmmm, maybe the cold remedy has gone to your head, I'll catch you again soon'

'We miss you, bye'

'Bye'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

County

A week or so later

'So, you're leaving us again Carter and I've not even caught up with you' Susan said smiling

He shrugged.

'Who is she?' Susan asked

Carter decided he might as well tell Susan about Abby and so he took the plunge and answered 'Abby'

'Abby Lockhart, Abby?' she said stunned

'Not exactly'

'What do you mean not exactly?'

'Yes Abby Lockhart, but she got married again, then widowed and goes by her late husbands name, Dirkiss'

'Wow' she paused then added 'Are you kidding me Carter?'

'Me? No I'm not kidding, I've been staying with her more or less since I left'

'I need to sit down' she said feigning shock and sitting at a stool at admit. 

'Hey that's my chair' yelled Frank

'You can have it back in a minute' Susan said over her shoulder to him then to Carter she said 'So?'

'What?' he replied being evasive.

She looked at him with an expression that said tell me or else.

'We met by accident I crashed my rental car and she happened to come by, I stopped at her house and never left. She's got two kids'

'Abby?' Susan said disbelievingly

'Yeah, the eldest child Elise was her late husband's daughter and then they had a little boy Toby, who's just turned three, they're really cute. I've just got back on track with Abby and I don't want to stuff things up this time'

'You'd better get back then' she replied with a grin on her face. She stood, opened her arms for a hug 'Say hi, from me, oh and don't forget to invite me to the wedding'

He grinned back at her as he headed out.

'Carter gone?' asked Luka

'For now' replied Susan

'My chair' shouted Frank

'Okay, there's no need to yell' she said pushing the stool towards him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Late March 2010

Montana

He didn't tell her he was coming back tonight and when he reached the house it was quiet and he let himself in, it was late and had it been anything but quiet he would have been surprised.

What did surprise him however was the mess. The lounge was strewn with toys, the kitchen with dirty washing up. 

Concerned he climbed the stairs, there was a soft light coming from Abby's room and he entered it. There he discovered Abby propped up in the middle of the bed, by four or so pillows. Either side of her lay a child, Elise curled up to her right side and Toby half hanging out of the bed on the other, Carter gently put Toby back onto the bed so that he wouldn't fall out . He noticed an array of over the counter cough remedies and such by the bed. He gently lay his hand on each of the children's foreheads and found then warm, but normal. Abby's however was hot. He stood there watching them Abby's breathing seemed a little laboured, but not too bad. He fought the urge to kiss them all on the forehead and started to walk out of the room, but then turned back and did just that.

Not wanting to disturb them anymore, he crept back along the passageway to his room. It was cold, the bedding felt damp, but he was so tired he didn't really care and was asleep within minutes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


	10. The Other Side Of Never Chapter Ten

AN: I can't believe I've got to chapter ten, when I first planned this out there were about ten altogether, now I'm not sure how many there will be, probably about sixteen. Thank you for your continued comments, it is good to hear what you think.

The Other Side of Never

Chapter Ten

The next day

(Day 1) 

Carter woke with a start and looked at the clock, the digits read after 7am, he heard a noise and after hastily donning some clothes went to investigate. He noticed a light coming from Elise's bedroom, so he knocked quietly on the door.

'Yeah' she replied

'It's Carter' he said.

The door was suddenly flung open as she threw herself around his legs, he bent down and scooped her up into his arms and she hugged him tight.

'You're back' she said

'Last night, but everyone was sleeping, what are you doing?'

'Getting ready, I've got to go to school. I've got dressed, but I can't do my hair'

'Here let me', he said taking the brush and brushing her hair through.

'Can you do braids?' she asked

'No, I don't think my hair dressing skills extend that far, how about a ponytail?' he suggested

'That'll be good' she replied

'So' he continued 'how did you figure you'd get to school?'

'Mom. I was going to get ready, then get Toby dressed, then wake Mom and get her to take me, then she could go home to bed. That was my plan'

'Good plan, but as I'm here I'll take you to school then Mom and Toby can sleep in'

'What if Mom wakes and can't find me?'

'We'll leave a note by the bed'

'Are you going away again?'

'Not at the moment, I might have to sometime, but not now'

'Good' she replied smiling to herself

'Had breakfast?'

'No'

'Let's go and fix it quickly and then I'll take you to school okay'

'Will you pick me up too?'

'Yes'

She smiled up at him and put her small hand in his as they made they way downstairs together.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carter entered the house quietly and encountered Toby making his way downstairs. The little boy's face lit up as he hurled himself at Carter.

'Whoa there' Carter said frantically trying to remain upright and he surprisingly succeeded, he smiled down Toby. 'I think, we need to find you some more clothes' 

'I dressed' Toby said

Carter tried to be tactful as to not hurt Toby's feelings.

'Yeah, but it's cold outside, how about we find some long pants and a sweater... are you wearing underpants?' 

Toby looked at him innocently, Carter frowned and checked.

'No underpants, we'll find some of those too.....What did you do with the diaper? You still wearing a diaper to bed? You haven't stopped since I've been away?' 

Although Toby was reasonably dry during the day he still wore a diaper to bed.

Toby nodded 'In the bin'

'Good'

After dressing him in more weather appropriate clothes Carter took him downstairs and gave him breakfast, whilst trying to sort out the mess in the kitchen. When Toby had finished he went off to the lounge to play with his cars. Carter went upstairs to see Abby.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As he walked up the stairs he heard her coughing, the kind of coughing which brings tears to the eyes of the patient. As he entered her room he found her sitting up, trying to catch her breath.

'You should see a doctor' he said sitting down on the edge of the bed

'Ha ha, very funny' she choked out, as he handed her some water which she drank. 'When did you get back?' she managed

'Last night, late'

She smiled at him 'Elise get to school okay?' she started coughing again.

He waited for he to stop before he said 'Yeah, Toby's downstairs playing'

'I better get up' she muttered

He put a hand on her shoulder and said 'Stay, get some rest. How long have you been like this?'

'A while, they made me go home from work yesterday early, signed me off sick for ten days'

'Good, they examine you?'

She nodded trying to suppress the cough and wheezing.

'Acute Bronchitis?' he said at a guess

She nodded again. He looked to the side of the bed to check that she had the proper medication, satisfied that she did, and he turned his attention back to her.

'You went into work yesterday?' he asked 

'Uh huh' she replied 

He ran his hand over his unshaven face 'You should've stayed home'

She tilted her head from side to side and whispered 'I know'

He sighed 'Marjorie and Bill?'

'Better, not up to having the kids, Claire's been having them' 

Carter nodded then said 'Stay there for a couple of days I'll can manage everything'

'Everything? The kids, the house, work and me?' she replied wheezing somewhat with the effort of having a conversation.

'Yeah' he replied not really knowing what he was getting himself into.

Abby frowned 'Why?'

'Because I love you' he replied kissing her on the hand, whilst looking intently into her eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Day 2)

The house was now reasonably tidy Carter decided as he shut the door and drove the kids to town, after dropping Elise at school he and Toby made their way to the grocery store, for what Carter thought would be a quick easy shop.

To start with Carter let Toby walk alongside the shopping cart, which Carter found was his first mistake of the day, every time he turned his back Toby had either wandered off in the wrong direction or popped something unsuitable into the cart. By the time they reached the second aisle Carter put Toby into the seat in the cart, this however did not stop the little boy choosing items and adding them to the cart. Carter then decided to move the cart into the middle of the aisle, which did not please the other customers.

In was then that Carter realised why Abby sometimes asked him to baby-sit whilst she went shopping, or when she did take both of them she was an exceedingly long time. He was glad he had only brought one child, having Elise along as well was a horrendous thought.

He was halfway through the store when Toby complained of being hungry. Carter replied telling him that he would just have to wait until they got home. Toby however had different ideas and Carter had no idea that Toby knew how to whine as much as he managed to in the next ten minutes. Feeling rather exasperated and stressed, he gave in, opening a packet of potato chips and giving them to him. Toby was quiet Carter felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. In the back of his mind he could hear Elise saying something along the lines of 'When we're with Mommy, she does such and such'. But by then he didn't really care.

Somehow he made it back to the house, without any more problems.

Later he found out from Abby that she usually took a couple of small toys to amuse Toby while in the cart and a handful of candy in her pocket, Elise, she told him was very good at getting some of the items on the list. He made a mental note to remember for next time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Day 4)

Carter was tired and the kids still weren't in bed. Abby had told him that she would help but he had replied by telling her he was coping just fine. The truth was that he was finding taking care of the kids like this much more stressful than a day full of traumas at County.

Carter walked into Abby's room to find the children sitting on the bed with her. She looked up at him, noting his expression and said to the kids 'Okay time for bed'

She reached to each of them and gave them a hug and a kiss.

'We have'to?' asked Toby

Abby nodded 'You have to get up early tomorrow, Carter is taking you to Aunty Claire's house for the day'

'Must I?' he answered

'Carter's going to work, but if I'm feeling better I'll look after you the day after, okay?' she replied

Toby looked at his Mom and at Carter and reluctantly climbed off the bed. Elise took his hand and they walked out of the room after Carter.

'Night' Elise said turning round at the doorway and blowing Abby a kiss, which Abby returned to the smiling girl.

'Now remember' Carter said tucking Toby in bed with Elise standing beside him 'What I said yesterday, if you get scared or anything in the night, walk down the hall to my room and get me okay'

Toby nodded at him, Carter looked at Elise and she nodded her assent also.

'One down one to go' said Carter closing Toby's door to and taking Elise to her room, making sure she was tucked up for the night. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Day 5)

Carter didn't know what had woken him, but all of a sudden he was wide awake, he glanced at the clock which read just after 2am, before his eyes came to rest on a small figure standing at the side of his bed.

'Elise?' he said somewhat sleepily.

With that the child burst into tears, waking Carter right up. He sat on the side of his bed and rubbed his eyes before picking up Elise carrying her back to her room, where he sat on the bed with her sitting on his lap.

'What up?' he asked whispering softly to her.

'I...' she gulped back the tears, 'I had....a... bad dream', she sniffed, wiping her nose on his top, and he inwardly sighed, deciding that this was not the time to reprimand her.

'Want to talk about it?' he asked

'It was about people leaving and dying' she said

'Oh' he replied

'Anyone you know?'

'There was a man and first he was Dad and then he was you, and Toby and Mom were sad and then Mike and Steffie were there too and they were laughing at us, and then I was all by myself again'

'Mike and Steffie from school right' he clarified

She nodded and said 'I'm scared, will you wait 'til I go back to sleep'

He nodded and moved her back into her bed and covered her over. Then he stroked back the hair from her face.

'Are you gonna leave again? She asked him 'I really missed you when you had to go away, we talked about you all the time so's we wouldn't forget you. Did you miss us like we missed you?'

He took a deep breath and said 'Whenever I missed you I'd look into my heart and there you all were'

She smiled sleepily at him and closed her eyes and he stayed and watched until she fell into a peaceful slumber.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Day 7)

'Are you two ready?' Carter yelled.

Elise came running down the stairs and Toby climbed off Abby's lap in the lounge. Toby was halfway out of the room when he came back to his Mom and planted a kiss on her knee.

'Have fun' she told him then added 'be good for Carter'

Carter came into the room where Abby was sitting flicking through a magazine and bent down and kissed her.

'I'll start dinner while you'll out' she told him as he raised his eyebrows at her, giving her a look which said no. 'But I'll get bored' she said

'Then catch up with your medical reading, you're supposed to be taking it easy' he answered, picking up a couple of articles from the coffee table and putting them in her hand.

She returned his look with one that sarcastically said great.

'I'll take the kids out for something to eat, then we can eat later'

'Looks like you've got it all planned out' she said

'This is John Truman Carter the 3rd you're talking to' he said heading out as she held back a laugh knowing that when he took the kids out nothing went to plan.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

'I'm not going in there' Elise said to Carter

'What do you suggest?' he promptly asked her

'I'll go in there' she said pointing to the other door

'You can't go by yourself' he commented

'And I can't go through that door with you and Toby'

'Toby goes though that door with you and Mom'

'Well he's little and it doesn't matter, I'm a big sister and I'm not going in there with you and Toby'

Carter sighed and ran his hand over his chin; he was about to say something when Elise continued.

'It's okay, I know what to do and I can reach the locker by myself'

'What about after when you're cold and wet?' he asked 'There will be no one to help you get warm and dry'

'Look there's Steffie and her Mom she can watch me, ask her, please?'

'Wasn't she the girl in your dream a couple of days ago, who was mean?'

'That' she said 'Was, just a dream Carter, please? Please, please, please, please, please?'

Carter decided that anything for a quiet life was good, so after talking with Steffie's Mom, he let Elise go into the women's changing room at the swimming pool while he took Toby in with him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Despite the initial problems they had fun at the swimming pool, although it was a little busy for Carter's liking. When they were dressed and back in the car Carter took them to MacDonald's.

'We're going here?' Elise asked Carter who nodded 

'Wow' said Toby

'Mom doesn't take us here much' Elise stated

'I've noticed' Carter replied

'Do we have to keep it a secret, like the ice cream' she added

'No' he said 'That wasn't really a secret, a mean your Mom knew didn't she and none of us said a thing'

'Mom's clever like that' Elise told him

'I've noticed that too' he said dryly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Inside they stood in the line and waited their turn. Elsie was reading the food list out loud and Carter was helping her with the words she didn't know, Toby was hugging on to Carters leg. When suddenly Carter realised one of his jeans clad legs were wet. Frowning he look down and met Toby's sorrowful gaze.

'Sorry' Toby whimpered his bottom lip quivering 'You mad?'

'No. Why didn't you ask or tell me you needed the bathroom?' Carter asked incredulously.

Toby shrugged.

'Hey, are we moving up the line?' asked Elise as the people in front moved to be served.

'No' Carter answered 'We're moving to the bathroom'

Elise looked at Toby, who look worried about his accident.

'You know,' she said to Carter 'He sometimes does that when he gets tired'

'I know' Carter replied. 

Ten minutes later after Carter had sorted out the little problem, grateful that Abby had out a spare pair of pants in the bag for Toby. They sat down with their food, (Carter rather uncomfortably as his the bottom of his jeans were still wet), they happily enjoyed the remainder of their afternoon out together.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

(Day 8)

It was a sunny day although cold as the four of them headed out, along the road until they came to the sign for Honeyfoot Farm. Here they started walking across a field, where they encountered Agnes's dog.

'Hey look it's Floss' shouted Toby running towards the dog, quickly overtaken by Elise.

Carter and Abby followed at a more sedate pace.

'Don't even think about running to catch them up' he said

'I'm not' she replied 'I can't wait to go back day after tomorrow I feel like I've been cooped up for weeks not days. I'm hardly going to risk that by running across the field'

He smiled and took her hand in his 'Cold' he stated

'You were in such a hurry to go out for a walk' she started

'Okay okay' he muttered back 'Where's Agnes then?'

'There' pointed Abby as Agnes came into view.

'I hope she doesn't smell bad today' he said

'Well if she does you probably won't notice, with all the fresh air and all'

'Mmmmm' Carter replied as they reached the old woman, her dog and the kids.

'Haven't seen you lot for a while' Agnes said 

'Oh well you know how things are' replied Abby

'Bert said you'd gone away' Agnes said pointing at Carter

'Well I'm back now'

'So I see, you want to come up to the farm, see the baby chicks?' Agnes asked Elise and Toby

'It's bit of a long walk back' said Abby

'Fiddlesticks, people nowadays don't know what walking is, won't hurt you, You're looking a bit pale, some good fresh air will do you good and some of my special herb tea' she told Abby.

The kids and the dog had already bounded ahead and Agnes started after them. Abby looked at Carter and he returned her look.

'Come on you two, lovebirds' shouted Agnes

Sighing heavily they followed her 'This is not what I had in mind when I suggested a walk' Carter told Abby giving her a quick kiss before Agnes turned round again.

She replied saying 'And this isn't what I thought it would be either'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

'Oh Mom the chicks are so cute, can we have one?' Elise asked Abby

'No' she replied, with a little grin.

Elise sighed turning back to the chicks she knew better than to argue with that tone.

'Come now the drinks are ready' Agnes said

'Oh but we haven't finished looking at the chicks, have we Toby?' Elise said

'Then bring them with you' Agnes said, much to the horrified look on Abby and Carter's faces.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They spent longer than they wanted to at Agnes's home and now the kids whinged and whined all the way home because they were tired of walking such a long way, it had been different when they had been chasing Floss the dog.

'Okay' said Abby who was feeling tired too. 'Lets all hold hands and we'll help each other along'

And so they did.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Day 10)

Abby used the time while everyone was out to make dinner for Carter and herself that evening. Carter was working until six, Elise was going to Marjorie and Bill's after school and Toby was there all day, as they had missed them. Abby didn't mind because it gave her time to do the things that she had let go while she had been unwell.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carter came downstairs after reading Elise a story and walked into the kitchen.

'Smells good' he commented to Abby

'You said that an hour ago when you got in'

'I guess you haven't burnt it then' he replied grinning at her

She swatted the teacloth at him and he artfully dodged it.

'Here' she handed him a soda 'Go and sit and watch TV or something' she suggested.

'I see when I'm not wanted' he said faking a hurt look and heading out the room

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

'That was good' he said finishing his meal. Abby had really made an effort and cooked three courses, for probably the first time in her life.

Abby smiled 'I just wanted to say thank you' she told him, carrying the dirty dishes back to the kitchen as he followed her.

She started to run the hot water tap, but his hand closed over hers and turned it off as he kissed her neck.

'Do that later' he said

'Like tomorrow morning when it's like a madhouse?' she queried

'Uh huh' he said as he started to tickle her. She moved backwards and eventually hit the wall, then he moved in closer.

She looked deep into his eyes and before she knew what was happening he started kissing her, in a way that she had only dreamed about since he had left six or so weeks previously.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Much later Carter stared at the ceiling of Abby's bedroom and said 'Thank you for what exactly'

'What?' she asked

'Earlier you said you'd cooked dinner to say thank you'

'Oh that'

'Well?'

'Oh well you know, taking care of the kids and everything and...'

'And?'

'And I wanted to say...' she bit her lip in the dimly lit room.

'What?' Carter asked turning on to his side to look at her

Looking kind of worried and nervous she managed 'Um I ..... John I love you' 

He looked at her his expression unreadable.

'I said it after you went to New York, but you didn't hear me, so I guess it's about time I said it again. I love you'

A slow grin spread across his face as he went to kiss her once more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


	11. The Other Side Of Never Chapter Eleven

AN: Thank you to everyone who reviewed. This little chapter is sort of through the eyes of Toby.

The Other Side Of Never

Chapter Eleven

July 4th 2010

Toby sat in his room playing with his action figures; Spiderman was his favourite of which he had a couple. They were fighting the enemy forces, which today happened to be three of Elise's old Barbie's, as he couldn't find his other figures. He vaguely recalled leaving them in the back yard at Grandma's house. The game didn't work so well with Barbie's, which he thought were really dumb girls toys.

'Toby' Carter yelled up the stairs

Toby ignored him he was much more interested in his game.

Carter stuck his head round the door 'We're leaving, are you ready to go buddy?'

Toby looked up and sighed.

'You can bring Spiderman along, if you leave him in the car, otherwise he'll get lost'

'Okay' he nodded 

'Oh and Mom said go to the bathroom before we go okay' Carter added before heading into his and Abby's bedroom to get something.

Toby nodded, he didn't actually need the bathroom so instead of going there he went into Carter's old room, which was in the middle of being decorated and poked about a bit.

Carter on his way downstairs noticed the door was open 'You ready?' he asked Toby, who jumped with shock, kicking the paint tin, luckily the lid was on.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He sat in his own little world as the drove to the picnic site on the outskirts of town, except not their side so it was a fairly long journey for the little boy on a hot sultry day.

Mom and Carter both had a holiday today, Toby was not to know however that Carter had agreed to work two nights to have the day off.

When they arrived, parked and unloaded they met up with the remainder of the Dirkiss clan, who were meeting together again. They had chosen a spot half in the sun and half in the shade.

Toby thought 'Oh no I need to pee' He started to jump about a bit, but that felt worse, so he stood still, watching everyone and trying to catch his mom's eye.

'What up with you?' asked Elise

'I need to pee' he said

'Already'

Toby could only nod.

'Mom' she shouted 

Abby looked over to them noticing the familiar look on Toby's face.

'I told you to go before we left' she said taking him to the nearest discreet tree.

'I forgot' he replied.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Elise and Toby sat together watching some older kids play when their cousin Rory who was a little older than Elise came up to them with a school friend. They sat down with them.

'This is Josh' he said introducing his friend

'Hi' they all said

'What'ya doing?'

'Nothing' said Elise

'Who's that with your Mom, Josh?' Rory asked pointing to a woman and man at a nearby table

'That's my new Dad'

Toby looked up, interested that you could get new dads.

'You remember my Mom got married again last year'

'What's married?' asked Toby wondering

'Well my Mom and Jeff that's my new Dad went to church with me and some people in my family and some other grown ups. The my Mom and Jeff said that they loved each other and made some promises and stuff. Then there was the yukky bit where they got to kiss, then we had a sort of party' Josh told him 'It was quite good fun, except I had to dress real smart and not get dirty'

'Sounds okay' thought Toby looking at his Mom and Carter who were talking with his grandmother and Aunty Claire. 'Not too hard, be good for a day, dress smart for a day, um I could do that'

By the time he had stopped thinking about it he had missed part of the conversation and caught Elise asking 'Is he nice?' 

'He's okay I guess' Josh replied

'Who does the baby belong to?' Rory asked

'That's my baby brother, you've seen him before'

'Oh yeah I forgot' Rory said

'He looks cute' Elise said

'He's okay I guess, when he's not crying'

'Babies cry, that's what they do' Elise told them 'Don't you think he's cute?'

'You're a girl, girls think babies are cute'

Elise looked offended and then to prove that she wasn't all girly girl she said 'You want to play soccer?'

'Yeah come on' the two boys said

'Me too' said Toby wanting to join in

'Sorry' said Elise 'You have to be four to play this game' knowing full well he was not quite three and a half.

He frowned at her and his shoulders slumped.

'Yeah' added Rory and Josh 'we don't want no babies messin' up our game' 

Defeated Toby turned round feeling rather glum and wishing he'd stayed home.

The first person he encountered was his grandfather, who was sitting in a sun chair in the shade. Toby went up to him.

'What's up Toby?' he asked lifting the little chap on to his lap.

'They won't let me play' he told Bill

'Oh' Bill replied

Bill and Toby sat there watching Elise, Rory and Josh who had already moved on from the game of soccer to some make believe thing.

'Can you get new Dad's?' Toby asked Bill suddenly

'What do you mean?'

'Josh has a new dad and a baby bro...brof..'

'Brother?' Bill suggested

Toby nodded

'Oh' said Bill 'Well yes you can'

'Mmmm' Toby replied 'me and 'Lise could get a new dad' he added looking in the direction of Carter.

'I see you've chosen one' Bill said amused

Toby smiled at his Grandfather 'I like him'

'Yeah he's a good guy' Bill replied

'He'd have'ta marry Mom so we can get a baby?'

'Er yes that would probably be the best way to go. But you can't make it happen Toby, things just have to happen on their own'

'I can wish'

'Yes you can wish'

Toby looked over to Carter again who was lounging with Abby on a rug; they were talking quietly together.

'Why don't you ask him to play kick the ball around with you?'

Bill whispered softly into Toby ear.

Toby smiled again, slid off his Grandfather's lap and went to ask.

He was really elated when Mom said she'd play too and he had far more fun with Carter and his Mom than playing with Elise and her stupid game until it was time for lunch.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

The rest of the day he had a great time, his other cousins of whom he had quite a few included him in their games. He spent at lot of time watching his Mom and Carter; they kissed a lot, which he thought was a good sign. When it was time to go home he found he didn't want the day to end. But Mom and Carter insisted, they also insisted that he went to the bathroom before leaving. To make sure Carter took him himself.

There was a happy silence in the car as they rode back home. The next thing Toby knew was Elise talking. He felt sleepy and couldn't be bothered to open his eyes when she said.

'He really is asleep Mom'

The car door opened and he felt himself being lifted out 'I'll take him in' Carter offered, taking Toby from Abby. 'He's getting really heavy'

Toby wasn't really aware of any more as Carter carried him upstairs and put him to bed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


	12. The Other Side Of Never Chapter Twelve

AN: The vacation chapter, I apologise if there is nothing like the place I describe, but this is all in my mind's eye as I tell this tale, so bear with me if you can't imagine it. Also if there is a place with this name, it is coincidence. Also I might have used more English English words than American English ones, sorry.

The Other Side Of Never

Chapter Twelve

August 2010

Saturday

They left early Abby stood over Toby before they left ensuring that he paid a visit to the bathroom as it would be several hours before they reached their destination, of course they would have to stop sometime during those few hours.

They all piled into the car, Abby said she would start the driving and Carter was quite happy to shut his eyes for a bit. He hadn't got in until the early hours of the morning, way after he should have due to a large car wreck on the outskirts of town.

The kids were quite happy as they headed out on their little adventure, Abby knew that later they would probably be fighting after sitting in such a confined space for so long on what promised to be a fine summers day. Hopefully their whole vacation would go well.

They had been driving for about an hour, by this time Abby had had to put a Disney CD on to amuse Elise and Toby as they hadn't planned to stop for a least another half hour. Carter wasn't much help as he had fallen asleep almost as soon as they had left home. Every time he started to gently snore she had dug him in the side, Disney songs, snoring and fractious children didn't mix whilst she was trying to concentrate on the road.

The traffic ahead was moving slowly Abby couldn't see why. She hoped that it wouldn't last long as the kids particularly Toby tended to get car sick when they were part of slow moving traffic, stopping and starting all the time. They had been stopping and starting for an hour which eventually woke Carter from his little nap.

'Where are we?' he asked rubbing a hand over his eyes in an effort to wake fully.

'Middle of nowhere' Abby replied

'What's going on?' he asked

Abby shook her head and suggested 'Car wreck, road works, who knows'

She glanced into the mirror to look at the kids who had gone uncharacteristically quiet. They looked rather pale she decided and there seemed nowhere to pull over at the moment.

'Um John' she started

Carter looked at her knowing that she was going to ask him a favour and wondering what it was.

'Could you get a couple of bags out my purse?' she asked

Carter fumbled around a bit and held out two brown paper bags 'These?' he asked

'Yeah, give them to the kids, I think there are going to throw up'

'Great' he muttered under his breath

Which was just in time for Toby unfortunately though he missed the bag somewhat, while Elise just sat there holding on to the bag for dear life.

'Abby we're gonna have to stop' Carter said

'I see that' she replied pulling over behind a car that had overheated and had the hood raised.

Which was just in time for Abby to get out the car grab Elise and get her to empty the contents of her stomach into the bag.

Abby wiped back the hair from Elise's face, who was still looking rather pale.

'Okay' Abby asked

Elise swallowed and nodded 

Abby handed her some water 'Better'

Elise replied ' That feels better'

'Okay, don't tell me you're hungry like you did last time, you can wait a bit first' she said sitting the little girl on the verge away from the road.

Then Abby looked to see what Carter and Toby were up to. Carter had stripped Toby's top and shorts off and was attempting to clear him up with wet wipes.

'You feel better?' she asked him thinking he still looked rather green.

Toby took one look at her before throwing up again, this time all over Carter.

'Obviously not' Abby said 'Don't just stand there' she said to a stunned Carter.

'I'm beginning to feel like I'm at work' he stated

'Don't worry they'll be okay now'

'Famous last words Abby' he replied

'Oh no' she added 'they're usually okay after, in fact they both will want to eat in about thirty minutes or so'

'Really?'

'Really' 

A few hours later Carter realised that Abby had been right. The kids had eaten some dry crackers and had some water and had been fine. They had had to travel with the windows open, the air conditioning didn't take the smell away, Carter thought as he drove along that that was most probably because his clean clothes were buried under a mound of stuff and his clothes he had on had a distinct odour about them. They had waited until the traffic flow problem had ceased before starting their journey once more and now they had just arrived at their destination. Carter was dreaming of a refreshing shower more than anything else in the world.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They past a sign, which read Trayton's Retreat Park and drove down a long winding trail to a large log structure which, housed amongst other things a reception. After booking in they drove down to the lodge that they had hired for the next seven days.

'Looks okay, proper building' stated Carter

'What do you think I'd booked, a shack?'

'Some of the ones back there looked a little rough'

'They're supposed to be 'rough' the brochure called them authentic log cabins for those who wanted an experience of times gone by. This is de-luxe' she told him

They all piled out of the car and headed into the lodge with a front veranda, it was on two floors and consisted of a kitchen, dining and living area with a bathroom and bedrooms above.

Then they looked out at the mountainous view of lots of trees, a large lake, one or two other cabins in the vicinity and lots more trees.

'It'll be fun' Toby said to Carter moving to stand next to him

'Yeah' agreed Elise 'We really had a good time last year'

'You went here last year?'

'Uh huh' Toby said

'We stayed the other side of the lake though' Elise informed him

'In a semi de-luxe' stated Abby to Carter

'You can keep Mom company while we go and do the fun stuff'

'So Carter and I can't do fun stuff too?' Abby asked

Elise smiled up at her, 'I guess you can'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sunday to Tuesday

They filled their days by taking the kids to the children's club in the morning, while they did something together, which sometimes didn't include going out of the lodge for. Then they took the kids out with them someplace in the afternoons.

The kids enjoyed mixing with different children and doing a range of activities from swimming and pony riding to flower pot and T-shirt painting.

'You like mine?' Elise asked Abby

Abby looked at the picture of what she interpreted it to be a princess.

'Very nice, but I don't think it will fit me? She told Elise

'It's too small for you silly' she replied laughing

'Mine's good too' Toby said showing Abby a sort of person, Abby only knew it was Spiderman because of the colours he had used and the big spider he had drawn on the reverse.

'That's lovely' she told him as he insisted wearing it that moment, with an expression of pride written all over his face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wednesday

That morning Abby dropped the kids off, and went to meet Carter who told her he had a surprise for her. He put a hand over her eyes and led her round the park. When they reach their destination he took his hand away.

'You can look now' he said

Abby's eyes widened as she saw his plan.

'You said it would be something I'd enjoy' she said turning to face him 'I never done anything like that in my life'

'It's easy' he replied

'I guess you grew up with this kind of thing?' She asked

'Yeah' he replied 'Not that I was particularly good'

'Then why are we going to do it'

'I thought it would be fun'

'I could break my neck'

'I'll look after you'

'That's what I'm afraid of' she told him 'I mean you can't have complete control of the situation'

He looked at her pleadingly, his eyes hopeful.

'Oh okay' she finally conceded 

'Smile, it's going to be fun we'll only be out a hour'

'Let's just get on with it, how do I get up there?'

'Hold the reins and put your foot in the stirrup and I'll give you a boost'

Abby did as instructed and landed with a thud in the saddle on top of a gentle looking horse. 

'Ready?' he asked sitting on top of a larger looking horse.

She nodded not really convinced.

'Maybe we should tell someone where we're going?'

'Abby, it's fine, it's all taken care of' he told her as she rolled her eyes in response not entirely won over.

It was a pleasant day as they set off, Abby couldn't say that she was completely comfortable sitting on top of a horse but she decided to humour Carter anyway.

The ride took longer than expected; Abby was worried that she wouldn't be back in time to pick up the kids for lunch as arranged. Carter who thought he knew where he was going managed to get the pair of them slightly lost.

They eventually arrived to collect Elise and Toby ten minutes later than they should have done.

'Mom are you okay?' Elise asked Abby 'You're kinda walking funny'

Abby shot a look at Carter. 'I went horse-riding ' she told them

'By yourself?' Elise asked 

'That's dang'rous' stated Toby

'No I went too' said Carter

'Did you fall off?' Toby asked Abby

'No, I just wasn't used to riding a horse and it took longer than we thought' she gave Carter a glare, and he had a look of innocence on his face as he met her gaze.

'How much longer?' asked Elise

'A lot longer. Two hours longer'

'After lunch I'll run you a hot bath and you can have a soak, while I take the kids fishing'

'Fishing?' asked Elise clearly unimpressed.

'Yeah, it'll be fun, just the three of us'

Much to Elise surprise she did enjoy fishing, more than Toby who was still rather young.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thursday

The next afternoon Carter and Abby took the kids out in a rowing boat on one of the lakes there. Abby made sure that Elise and Toby wore life jackets, which turned out to be a good decision. They had been on the lake a while and Toby and Elise had started to get bored, which resulted in the pair arguing where they would sit and moving around the small vessel.

When unsurprisingly they eventually tipped the boat over and everyone fell in. Fortunately no one was hurt just wet and rather stunned.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Friday

While the kids were off on their last fun session with their new friends Abby decided that today she would get her own back on Carter for the horse riding experience.

'Where are we going?' he asked

'Just wear long pants' she told him as he eyed her suspiciously

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

'You're not serious?' he asked her and they joined a group of people

'What?' she asked 'you made me go horse riding, now I would like to try this'

'You can try this, don't expect me to join you'

'That's not fair, besides you might even enjoy yourself and it's safer than the horse riding you get to wear a harness and a hard hat'

He looked up 'It's a mountain'

She rolled her eyes exasperated with him 'It's not a mountain it's a small rock face in the side of a mountain'

'Oh, I thought you meant we had to climb to the top'

'Even I'm not that stupid, come on if I can horse ride you can do this. It can't be that difficult surely'

Carter grudgingly followed her and accepted the harness, watching the instructor as he explained how to wear it.

'It's not particularly comfortable' he told Abby, who gave him a look that said stop whining you're worse than the kids.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carter held on to the rock for dear life, wondering how on earth Abby had persuaded him to do such an activity, the sweat poured from his back, he tried not to look down as that made him feel rather queasy.

'You're doing great' she told him from the top, which at this point was only just out of his reach by several feet.

He was unable to form a reply and just cursed to himself as he followed the instructors advice, and he slowly made his way up the rock face, collapsing on to the ground at the top with relief and then crawling away from the edge.

'I didn't think you were afraid of heights'

'I'm not' he managed 'I just have never had a desire to ever do that'

She sat down next to him neither of then said anything for a while and he used the time to get his breath back.

'Thanks' she said eventually

'Not sorry?'

'No thank you, I realise you didn't want to, but you did'

'Yeah well I made you go horse riding'

She smiled at him 'You know ' she said 'this has taken less time than the horse riding'

'And?'

'We've got time to...' she said smiling and shrugging at the same time 'If you've got the energy' she paused for a moment then said 'if not I....'

He silenced her with a kiss and said 'The quicker we're there'

He stood and pulled her up and said 'Now what's the quickest way down this hill?'

Unfortunately for him the quickest way was back the way he had come, although he found going down was much faster.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

They chose to have a quiet afternoon with the kids playing outside the lodge.

Carter and Abby sat on the veranda while Elise and Toby played on the grass.

Toby tired of playing sat down.

'My legs are tired' he said as an explanation to Elise who sat down beside him sighing.

They sat there in silence watching a family with three young children, the youngest crawling across the grass.

' 'Lise?' Toby said

'Mmm' she replied

'Boy of girl?'

What?'

'Baby bro...brother or sister?' Elsie looked at him puzzled 'pick one?'

'Oh you mean, what if Mom and Carter had a baby?'

Toby nodded.

'As I've already got a baby brother, I'd like a sister this time'

'I'm not a baby, and boy babies are better' He didn't bother to try and pronounce brother again it was too much like hard work

'They could have two, together, a boy and a girl'

'At once?' Toby said making a face

'Yeah, it's called twins' Elise told him, trying to sound really grown up that she knew this.

'You sure?, I've never heard of that' he replied shaking his head

''That's because I'm a big sister and you're a baby brother'

He jumped up and said rather loudly 'I'm not a baby' 

'Are too' she said

'Not' he said

'Are too, you still wear a diaper to bed'

'You suck your thumb'

'You cry lots when you fall over'

'You..you...'

'Hey, what's going on?' Carter asked coming over to the pair, sitting down on the grass and taking Toby on his lap.

'Nothing' said Elise crossly

'Doesn't sound like nothing'

'Well it is'

'You shouldn't be fighting then, you want to make up'

Elsie looked over at Toby and begrudgingly said 'Sorry'

Toby replied 'Sorry'

'Good' said Carter 'There's nothing you want to talk to me about?'

Toby and Elise looked at each other and decided that the conversation they had prior to their argument was best not talked about with Mom or Carter so they just shook their heads.

'You ready for dinner then?'

They both nodded and he pulled them up as they went into the lodge together.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The kids were in bed and Carter stood with his arms around Abby watching the sunset together.

'You know I really enjoyed myself this week, except for the rock climbing adventure' Carter told Abby

'I didn't enjoy the horse riding much. You could have gone diving or something' 

'Oh but I would have been alone, not much fun with you lot'

'Us lot?'

'Well especially you' he said with a grin

'That's what I thought you meant' she replied smiling

He turned he around in his arms to face him 'You know there's still several hours left before we need to leave' he said in a suggestive manner.

'Let's just stay like this a while first though' she replied kissing him softly on the lips before turning round to look at the dusky view before them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


	13. The other Side Of Never Chapter Thirteen

AN: Sorry I was so long writing chapter 12, but for some reason I found it hard to write. Hope you can follow the Dirkiss bit with all the Mr, Mrs and Dr all in the same paragraph. Sorry if this chapter is short. Also Marjorie and Bill's children are called Claire (as previously mentioned), Larina, Nick (of course) and Drew, just in case you get confused.

Again I apologise for any English words I have used instead of US ones.

The Other Side Of Never

Chapter Thirteen

September 2010

Carter pulled up at the parking lot of the hospital after a two-day trip to New York.

'What's been happening?' Carter asked Christy the desk clerk. 'Slow today?'

Christy looked somewhat anxious. What?' Carter asked

Christy pointed to the chairs and sat there were Elise and Toby with a nurse, Rachel. As Carter walked over to them he could see that Elise was trying her hardest not to cry and Toby had an expression of bewilderment on his face. The children heard his approaching footsteps and they hurtled towards him. 

'Carter!' they both cried flinging their arms around him.

Carter's heart was pounding uncontrollably in his chest as he bent down and scooped them both up into his arms, where they buried their small heads either side of his neck.

'Rachel?' he queried keeping his voice steady and neutral, while his brain was telling him otherwise.

'Mr Dirkiss had a MI, he's still in trauma. Dr Dirkiss is with Mrs Dirkiss trying to console her. I was waiting either for you or one of Mr and Mrs Dirkiss's children to arrive. Dr Dirkiss explained to the children what was happening, but Mrs Dirkiss really lost it and Dr Dirkiss just had to go sit with her alone'

Carter was filled with relief and concern at the same time.

He nodded to Rachel and said 'I'll just take these two to the lounge for a minute, thank you for watching them'

'You're welcome' she replied, heading back to work

Carter closed the door to the lounge with his foot and sat on a sofa with the kids, who were still nestled against him.

They sat there for a few minutes until Elise lifted her head and looked directly at Carter.

'Carter?' she asked sniffing and wiping her eyes

'Is my Grandpa going to die?'

'I don't know' Carter replied honestly

'If he dies, will he go to heaven like Daddy?'

'Uh huh' Carter said nodding

'Will you and Mommy die too?'

'One day. Hopefully not until you're grown up'

'Everybody dies?'

Carter nodded 'You know, I was really sad when my Grandpa died and I was grown up'

'You were?'

'Uh huh. It's okay to be sad and cry' he told Elise thinking that he could have used his own advice a few years back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Abby quietly opened the door, she saw Carter sitting with the kids on the sofa, as she tip toed over she noticed that they all seemed to be sleeping.

Carter however on hearing footsteps opened his eyes and caught her gaze. She sat down on the coffee table opposite him. She looked drawn and exhausted as she bent forward and gently rubbed the kid's backs briefly.

'How was the flight?' she whispered to Carter

'Okay' he whispered back 'What's happening?'

She sighed deeply 'Claire's taken Marjorie home with her'

'She's not staying?'

Abby looked at him for what seemed like an eternity 'He died. Bill's dead' her voice was lacked emotion, but her expression gave her true feelings away.

Carter wished that he could give her the hug that she desperately needed, but that was somewhat impossible with the kids asleep on him.

Eventually he replied 'Sorry'

She sighed again and gave him a sad sort of smile and nodded. 'The kids okay?'

'Considering, yes'

'Thanks'

'I haven't done anything'

'For, being here'

He nodded and said 'We going to head home?'

She chewed her lip and nodded.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Abby couldn't sleep, she carefully lifted Carters arm off her body and got out of bed, finding her dressing gown and heading downstairs.

After they had arrived home and explained as best as they could to the kids they had all attempted to eat and then put Elise and Toby to bed.

She guessed one reason for the insomnia was that she was expecting the kids to have nightmares or something.

She made her way to the kitchen, it was cold and the heating still didn't work well, she decided it was about time she updated it as she made a hot drink.

She took the drink with her as she walked to the lounge window, pulling back the drapes she silently surveyed the night, lost in her own world.

Abby was so absorbed in her own thoughts that she almost spilt her coffee when Carter laid his hands on her shoulders making her jump.

'Carter' she said surprised 'I thought you were sleeping'

'Missed you' he replied 'I turned over and you had gone'

He moved in closer to her body wrapping his arms around her.

'Can't sleep?' he asked after a few moments

She shook her head slightly and sighed 'No'

'Want to talk? It was difficult earlier with the kids and the phone constantly ringing'

'It was kind of sudden, wasn't it?' she said sighing again as she tried to keep a grip on her emotions.

'It sometimes is'

'Yeah' she said almost inaudibly. 'You know, he was....he was.. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I would have like a Dad like Bill'

'He was a good guy' Carter agreed, taking the coffee from Abby and sitting it on the window ledge.

He was about to turn her, around when she did it by herself, burying her head into his chest and wrapping her arms tightly around his body. They stood there as one silently mourning the loss of a man who meant so much to them. They didn't know how long there had stood there but suddenly they were joined by Elise and they put her back to bed together, before heading back to their room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After much thought and consideration Abby had let Elise go to the funeral. Toby didn't really understand and thought that his Grandpa was going to come back at any minute, so stayed back at his Aunt Claire's house with another couple of small children and an adult to watch them.

The air was sombre as they went to Claire's house for the gathering afterwards. People chatted quietly around the house, although the children all made more noise upstairs.

'You okay?' Abby asked Carter

'Mmm what?' he asked

'Here, you know, it been a while since..'

'Yeah' he sighed 'That was the last funeral I attended'

'Sorry I didn't mean to stir it all up for you'

'It's okay, I wanted to be here, and funerals well they're a part of life'

She gave him half a smile and then squeezed his hand reassuringly.

'Abby?' Marjorie came over to them 'Can we talk?'

'Sure, alone or...' she looked at Carter

'Both of you' she replied

Carter, Marjorie and Abby headed outside to the back yard for privacy.

'Firstly I want to thank you, both of you for your support'

'You're welcome' murmured Abby

'I have decided to go and live near Larina and her family, I know this is rather sudden but I feel that I can't stay here. Claire's family are older than Larina's and as they live a couple of hours drive away.... Well I'm going to buy someplace smaller. Drew as you know is moving to Seattle after Christmas anyway. I won't be going immediately, I'll look after the kids 'til I go...... I just wanted you both to know... I'm sorry'

'You have to do what's best for you' Abby said encouragingly, thinking that she would have to put Toby in pre-school or get a childminder or something, to cover additional hours. She smiled at the older woman and gave her a reassuring hug. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

'There, finished' Elise told Abby. 'Want to look?'

Abby sat down at the table with Elise and Toby as they showed her the books they had made so that they could remember their Grandpa. It was filled with pictures, some photographs, some drawn by the kids. Places Bill had liked to visit, things that he had enjoyed doing.

'They are beautiful' Abby told them and they smiled at her.

'We'll still see Grandma won't we?' asked Elise

'Sure will, it will be more like seeing Grandma Maggie and Uncle Eric, you know sometimes, instead or nearly everyday'

'I miss Grandpa' Toby said sadly

'It's okay to still feel sad, but every time you look at your books you can remember all the fun things you did together, and not just then any time, it's okay'

'Who's going to look after us when you and Carter are working?' Elise asked

'I'm working on that' Abby replied 'Grandma's not leaving 'til after Christmas so we've got some time to get it sorted. What do you want me to do?'

They looked at her thinking as they did so.

'Alicia at school goes to like a childminder, she's says it's good' Elise said

'Toby?'

'I just wanna be with 'Lise' he replied still not quite able to pronounce his sister's name properly.

'You know I love you both and I want what's best for you' Abby said

They nodded, Abby stood up deciding that they would do something to take their minds off things.

'Okay, who would like to make cookies?' Abby asked

'Me' they both shouted in return.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


	14. The Other Side Of Never Chapter Fourteen

AN: Another short chapter I fear, sorry. On a good note it's fuzzy, well I hope you think it's fuzzy. Thanks for your continued reviews.

The Other Side Of Never

Chapter Fourteen

November 2010

Abby and the kids were out shopping. Carter sat in the kitchen nursing a coffee, lost in his own private thoughts. 

He couldn't believe that he had been here a year today. Susan was still badgering him to go back to County, telling him that good doctors were hard to come by.

If someone had told him last year that he would be here today with Abby, happy. He would have laughed at them. He left County looking for something, which was lacking in his life and he found it.

He didn't expect Abby to have kids, he didn't expect to fall in love with the kids. But most importantly he thought that he had in the past loved Abby as much as he could, but this last year he realised that she was so much more to him then he ever visualised and he couldn't imagine his life without her, without all three of them.

It felt now was the time to do something about it, this time it would be right. This time it would go well.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Carter was taking care of the kids, Abby was working. Elise and Toby were ready for bed. They all sat together on Abby and Carter's bed as Carter read a story. When it finished he closed the book and sighed inwardly, he was about to embark on one of the most difficult conversations of his life.

He cleared his throat and said 'Elise, Toby we need to talk'

'You're not leaving are you?' Elise asked alarmed.

'No' he replied smiling slightly 'I need to ask you guys something'

'What?' asked Toby fixing all his attention on Carter

'Well.. er... well, you know that I love you both' he looked at them and saw that they were looking at him intently 'I also love your Mommy very much and I'd like to ask her to marry me, what do you guys think?'

Elise gave Carter a broad grin 'We could be a proper family?'

Carter nodded, Elise and Toby looked at one another, then jumped up and down on the bed hugging each other and squealing.

After a while Carter feeling slightly seasick said 'That's a yes then'

They stopped bouncing up and down.

'When you going to ask her?' Elise said plopping back down on the bed.

'Later, somehow I don't think you two will be able to keep it a secret for long'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Abby was surprised when she let herself into the house, it was after midnight and Carter was up reading.

'I thought you didn't read after midnight?' she asked sitting beside him

'Tonight is an exception to the rule' he said, as he had needed something to take his mind off proposing, not that it had worked incredibly well.

'Any particular reason? Were the kids difficult?' she asked noticing that he looked rather dishevelled.

'No, no they were good' he replied

'Oh' she replied looking rather puzzled 'What's up? You look like something's bothering you'

'Abby?' he started

'Yeah'

'I know it's late, but I have to talk to you about something'

'You have to go to Chicago or somewhere?' she asked

'You sound like Elise, she asked if I was going away'

'You told the kids what you're about to tell me?' she asked

'Kind of' he nodded

'What? John what is it?' she asked putting her hand on his arm and feeling rather worried as he just didn't seem his normal self.

He turned his head to look at her 'Abby' he said more confidently this time. 'It's been just over a year since I've been here'

'Yeah I know I was going to suggest we went out, just the two of us but it's been rather manic lately, sorry I hadn't forgotten'

'No, that's not it'

'Oh'

'Abby. We wasted so much time, before we got together then when we split up, then after you left. I don't want to waste any more time' he paused

'What are you saying John?'

'Abby' he took a deep breath 'Abby I love you, you know that don't you?'

She nodded and replied 'I love you too'

'Abby' he took both of her hands in his and shifted round to face her 'I guess I've always loved you. I ..Abby... I ... What I mean is Abby, will you marry me?' 

The words came out in a rush; he looked at Abby who looked stunned.

'Really?' she said raising her eyebrows at him

He nodded

'Wow'

'Is that a yes?'

'You know that I may be a bad bet, I've been married twice already'

'Third time lucky' he whispered

She smiled and nodded

'Is that a yes?' he asked again

She nodded

'Didn't quite catch that' he said teasing her

'Yes' she whispered and lent forward and caught his mouth with hers in a breathtaking kiss.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three Weeks later

'Elise, Toby are you ready?' Abby shouted as they came running down the stairs. 'Come on I told Grandma we'd be there in ten minutes time, Carter will be waiting there for me, wondering what we're up to'

'Where's our stuff?' Elise asked

'In the car already, where you two should be'

'Did you pack Angela?'

'No, you usually pack all your toys you want to take'

'Can I go get her'

'Okay but be quick, do you need to take anymore toys?' she asked Toby

He shook his head holding up his favourite cuddly toy, George a monkey.

'Good' she sighed exasperated, ushering him into his coat.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carter and Abby sat in the car outside the house later that evening after having eventually got their meal out together. He had been away again just for a couple of days to Chicago.

'Shall we go in?' she asked as he seemed reluctant to leave the vehicle.

'Abby' he touched her hand as she reached for the handle of the car door.

She noticed he was looking down and she followed.

'Carter?' she said

'Now you know why I had to go back to Chicago' he said as he slid the ring onto her finger and kissed her.

'What are we still sitting here for, in the cold, when there is a perfectly snug bed indoors to warm up in?' she said in a suggestive manner

They got out the car and headed indoors, but somehow they didn't make it to the bedroom, until much later, after the floor in the hall, they decided was, rather uncomfortable.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


	15. The Other Side Of Never Chapter Fifteen

AN: Okay here is the penultimate chapter, the last one will follow in the next day or so. To hopefully fill our fuzzy needs, which are being somewhat, ignored during S-10. Thank you very much if you have reviewed, I value your comments.

The Other Side Of Never 

Chapter Fifteen

Easter 2011

Abby strode through a field and finally sat down on an old fallen log, she rested her elbows on her knees and was soon lost deep in her thoughts.

Tomorrow was the day, the day that she would become Mrs Carter or Doctor Carter. They decided not too hang about too long and were going to set a date back in January, but after considering everything they decided to put it back to the Spring. Easter was a time for new beginnings and this was theirs.

Carter was working and the kids were at home with Maggie and Eric. Maggie was adjusting everyone's outfits amongst other things and Abby had decided that if she didn't have ten minutes to herself she would explode. Especially as the house was going to be bursting at the seams later as more guests arrived some of them staying over at the house. Others including Carter and the best man at one the hotels in town.

Abby smiled to herself at the thought of the best man, thinking that life was ironic and hoping that as Susan wasn't too keen on flying that she and Luka wouldn't get delayed too much driving up.

Abby pondered over the events of her life since Carter had returned, there were occasions when she couldn't believe it was actually happening this time. This time she was actually going to marry the man she loved. Not the man she thought she loved or the man she felt she had to marry, but the right man, the only man she ever truly loved. John Carter.

Some birds flew noisily overhead throwing Abby out of her reverie, she got up and started heading home, wondering at the chaos she might find there. Then suddenly remembering that Carter's Dad was supposed to be calling when he got to town for a ride to the house. Thankfully his mother had decided to stay in a hotel in town. With this in mind she walked back rather briskly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carter pulled up at the house, there was no where to park and he ended up parking a few minutes away from home. As he stepped over the threshold he began to realise the bedlam, which ensued, there were people everywhere. The good thing was that he recognised most of them, bar one or two, whom he supposed, were Abby's cousins. He stood there wondering what to do next when he felt his pant leg being tugged; he looked down to see Toby.

Crouching down he said 'Hey Toby'

'We gotta talk' Toby replied taking Carter's hand and leading him upstairs away from the noise and mayhem.

They went into Abby and Carter's bedroom which was decidedly quieter than downstairs. Carter sat down on the bed and Toby stood facing him.

'What can I do for you?' Carter asked

' 'Bout the marrying'

'The wedding?'

'Yeah, that'

'You nervous, about carrying the rings? It's okay to be nervous, I know I am a bit'

'It's not that, I'm not scared'

'Good, that's good. What's up?'

'I've been thinking' he said jumping up on the bed next to Carter

'Thinking's good. About what?'

'You'

'Me?'

Toby nodded and sat there quietly looking at Carter.

Carter said 'You know Toby, you can talk to me about anything, any questions, things that worry or scare you. I'm always here to listen and if I'm not you can get Mom or whoever you are with to call me, right?'

Toby nodded again and sighed. 'I don't want to call you Carter' he finally blurted out.

Carter looked at him puzzled. 'That's okay you can call me John'

Toby shook his head vigorously and replied 'No'

'Oh, what then?' asked Carter rather densely.

Toby looked down and then up at Carter again. 'Daddy'

Carter raised his eyebrows in surprise. He and Abby hadn't discussed this with the kids yet and were waiting until after the wedding and everything was back to 'normal'.

'Well, that's okay too'

'Yeah?'

'Uh huh, did you talk to Elise about this'

'Talk to me about what?' Elise asked coming into the room at that moment having been told to find Toby.

'We were just discussing what to call me after the wedding'

'Oh that. Toby tell you what he wanted'

'Yeah, that's fine by me. How do you feel?'

She studied him for a long time; so long in fact that Toby began to fidget.

'I want to call you Carter, I know you're like my Daddy and I love you like my Daddy and we're gonna be a proper family, but...... but when I see the picture of my Daddy and....'

'It's okay Elise if you're not ready. You can call me Carter or even John if you prefer'

She smiled 'Maybe one day I'll change my mind, everything's confusing sometimes'

He nodded 'It's okay, really'

He opened his arms and gave her a hug and then included Toby. After a few moments he started to tickle them and the squeals of delight could be heard downstairs above the din.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carter stood outside the closed front door with Abby. The house was somewhat quieter; everyone who was staying in town had left, except for Carter, Luka and Susan.

His hands rubbed up and down her forearms, it was feeling chilly out and she stood there without a jacket.

'You ready?' he asked

She bit her bottom lip and nodded 'You?'

'Yeah, I didn't think I'd get you away from everyone tonight' he whispered

She smiled 'Have you got everything?'

'Yeah, it's in Luka's car'

'Did you move your car nearer home?'

'Slightly' and he pointed to it.

'Hard to see in the dark'

'I didn't think we wanted to bring attention to ourselves out here alone'

'No you're right' she replied moving towards him as he embraced her.

There they stood listening to the gentle hum of people taking inside, she moved away slightly and they shared a gentle kiss.

'What are you two doing out here?' Susan asked breaking the moment, rather abruptly as she came out the front door and left it wide open.

Carter and Abby broke apart and looked at each other feeling like two school kids who had been caught out.

'Nothing' Abby said defiantly, not moving out of the embrace, Carter just blushed but because it was dark nobody noticed.

'Oh you've found them' Luka said with a grin on his face 'Your mother's looking for you' he told Abby

Abby sighed and rolled her eyes at Carter.

'Come on, we're going' Susan said to Carter pulling his arm

'See you tomorrow' Abby said reluctantly letting him go.

'Abby there you are' said Maggie 'I've been looking all over the house'

Abby just managed see a told you so look from Susan before she was ushered back indoors.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Abby decided that she had got through the day in a daze. She was woken up early not by an excited Elise or Toby as she had expected but by an equally excited Maggie, who insisted that she get up at 6am or there wouldn't be time to do everything.

Of course there had been, everything had gone surprisingly smoothly considering they had put the whole thing together quickly.

Elise looked pretty in a lilac dress and had made a wonderful flower girl. Toby had been very grown up too and taken his responsibilities seriously. They had got irritable later but by then they were very tired.

Much to Abby's surprise she hadn't felt nervous at all and when she first saw Carter standing at the front of the room she knew that he had enough nerves for both of them.

Maggie and Eleanor had seemed to be on their best behaviour too and things although stilted at times were okay.

While Abby sat in the bathroom pondering the day's events Carter sat in the bedroom of the hotel thinking about the same things.

Carter knew that any worries or nerves he had about the day disappeared the moment he saw Abby walk towards him. She looked beautiful she wore a dress of cream silk with a bouquet of white, cream and lilac flowers. He had been looking so intently at Abby and thinking about the promises they were about to make he couldn't remember what kind of flowers they had been.

Apart from the actual ceremony, which almost brought tears to his eyes was afterwards, when Toby ran up to him calling him Dad for the first time. 

Marjorie although now living away had come to the wedding, something that must have been very difficult for her. But she had told him that she was glad that Abby and the children were going to be with him, that she was happy that Abby had moved on with her life. As they all deserved to be happy. Marjorie was also going to take care of the kids while Abby and Carter went away for a short honeymoon.

Maggie had argued that she and Eric could look after the kids but Abby and Carter knew that the children were much more familiar with Marjorie and would settle better with her whilst they were away.

Bringing himself back to the present Carter realised that Abby had been in the bathroom for quite a while.

'You okay?' he asked knocking gently on the door.

'Yeah' she replied 'You can come in'

He entered finding sitting on the edge of the bath, still in the dress.

'Need help getting out of the dress?' he asked in a suggestive manner

She smiled at him 'No, but I'm sure it will be more fun if you help'

He grinned back at her and moved to run a pattern of kisses from her shoulder up her neck and finally captured her mouth. They were in the bathroom a very long time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning Marjorie and the kids took Abby and Carter to the airport and after much hugging and kissing they left.

'Ready to go home?' Marjorie asked

They nodded Elise catching hold of her Grandmothers hand and Toby dawdling behind.

Toby turned round and said to himself 'One wish to go'

'Toby! Keep up, otherwise I'll lose you' Marjorie said taking his hand so that he wouldn't get lost in the swarm of people.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


	16. The Other Side Of Never Chapter Sixteen

AN: Here it is the last part, hope you enjoy.

The Other Side Of Never 

Chapter Sixteen

One Sunday in December 2013

10 am

Carter walked in to the bedroom to find Abby sitting in the rocking chair feeding the new baby, Katrina who was now eight weeks old. Matthew her older brother of the great age of sixteen months was standing at Abby's knee begging some attention too.

'Hey' she said acknowledging him. 'Everyone ready?'

'Not sure, Susan and Luka have just arrived'

'Can you go check?' she asked

'Oh Abby, I not even ready myself' he complained

'I see that' she commented 'Please, and take Matthew with you, Katrina and I have to get ready yet'

He studied Abby for a minute or two.

'I'll take over when I'm done' she bargained with him

'Okay' he finally gave in, walked over to pick up Matthew whilst giving Abby a half grin, and left the room.

Their first port of call was Elise's room where Carter knocked gently on the door.

'Come in' she replied

'Wow, you look pretty' commented Carter looking at Elise who had actually put a dress on for the occasion.

'Well, it's a special day' she replied 

'Are you almost ready?'

'Yeah, but I can't do my hair, is Mom free?'

'No' Carter replied bluntly 'What you want doing with your hair?'

'French Plait'

'Beyond my talents'

'I know' she replied

Carter turned to head out the door.

'Dad?'

'Yes Elise'

'What about my hair? I can't go like this, it has to be right'

'Why don't you go down and ask Susan, I'm sure she's qualified for that kind of stuff'

'That's a great idea, thanks Dad' and she walked out her room and down the stairs.

'Now' Carter said to Matthew 'Let's go see what Toby's up to'

They walked down the landing to Toby's room and Carter knocked and opened the door. Toby was trying to get dressed and Carter was pleased that Toby was almost done.

'Hey' he said

'Dad, can you do my tie?'

'You don't want to wear the one on the elastic?'

'No. I want to look good and I want to wear a proper tie'

'Okay' Carter said putting Matthew down.

'Hey Dad, don't do that, he'll mess my stuff up'

'I can't fix your tie and carry Matthew at the same time, and anyway what happened to all that 'I want a baby brother talk' '

'Yeah well, I did want, do want him, but it was better when he was like Katrina and didn't move around much, just ate, cried, poohed, slept and threw up'

'You said he was boring then because he didn't do anything' Carter added as he fastened the tie.

'Well yeah, but now all he wants to do is mess my things up. I think when he gets a bit bigger it'll be better. You know I love him right'

'Yeah' Carter replied smiling

'Dad!'

'What?'

'Quick!' said Toby taking Matthew and half carrying half dragging him away from his Harry Potter Lego construction that he had made the previous day

'You shouldn't drag him like that'

'He's heavy'

'Tell me about it' muttered Carter under his breath then to Toby said 'Right go downstairs and entertain our guests'

'What?'

'I don't know, talk to Luka about school or something, but don't get messed up'

'Okay'

Carter sighed deeply. 'Right Matthew, your turn' and they headed into Matthew's room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carter and Matthew were almost at Carter and Abby's door when it opened and Abby and Katrina stood there, ready.

'Right I'll take him down with me' she said.

He handed her the toddler 'You sure you can handle both'

'I have to if your out, what do you do when I'm out?'

'Manage'

'Ten minutes'

'What?'

'We need to leave in ten minutes'

'I was going to have a shower'

'Well that's not going to happen now, have you shaved?' she asked examining his face

'No'

'Well have quick shave and stick a suit on, and use plenty of deodorant'

'See, I need, to shower'

'There's not time' she said gently nudging his legs with her foot in the direction of their bedroom. 'By the way have you seen my locket? I can't find it anywhere'

Carter didn't appear to hear her 'Never mind' she said to herself under her breath.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

'Hey, let me take one of them for you' Susan said to Abby as she descended the stairs. 'Where's everyone else?'

'Not coming' said Abby handing Katrina to Susan, shutting the stair gate and putting Matthew down.

'Not coming? What about family, friends from work?'

Abby shook her head 'Nope, not invited'

'You didn't invite anyone else?'

'Oh well, er... well Jack who's in London, Eleanor who's in Barbados, Maggie who can't get the time off and Eric who won't travel without Maggie, so there is just you and Luka, which is the main thing'

'You sure about this?'

'We wouldn't have asked you if we weren't sure, why are you two getting second thoughts?'

'No. No of course we're honoured that you chose us to be Godparents, really, and they are just so cute'

Abby raised her eyebrows at her 'You won't be saying that by the time you leave to go home'

'I'm sure I will' Susan replied reassuringly.

'Saying what?' said Carter coming down the stairs

'Nothing' said Susan

'Right are we all ready' Carter asked gathering everyone together and heading out, to the ceremony where Matthew and Katrina would be Christened.

'I've got a question' Luka said and they walked towards their cars.

'What?' asked Carter

'You never said why you were getting them christened together'

'Oh well, you know we were just thinking about Matthew when we found out about Abby expecting another baby and we decided that it would be easier to have a joint celebration, with all our friends and family'

'Well that idea worked well' Susan said sarcastically

'In theory it was good' Carter replied 'It's not our fault no one else could make it'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2pm

The christening went okay; Matthew was rather in awe of the whole thing clung to Carter most of the time, while Katrina screamed her head off. Susan was beginning to think Abby had been right earlier when she said that Susan would have second thoughts about the kids being cute all the time as they drove back to the house.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

9pm

The youngest three kids were asleep in bed and Elise was in bed reading as Abby finally got downstairs to the kitchen where Luka, Susan and Carter sat round the table.

'I thought you were moving to the lounge' she said to them

'We just got talking' replied Susan 'You know I have to ask you both one more time'

'Ask us what?' said Carter

'If you will come back to Chicago?'

Abby and Carter shared a secret kind of look which Luka and Susan picked up on.

'What?' Susan asked

Carter smiled and bit his lip before looking over to Abby again who mirrored his body language.

'What?' this time Luka and Susan asked together

'Actually, we're heading back' Abby finally confessed

'To Chicago?' Susan asked

Abby and Carter nodded.

'For good?' asked Luka

They nodded again.

'What changed your minds, and don't say it was the offer of a job at County because I know that's not true' Susan said to them.

'You're right it's not that, but if there's a job going then I'm looking' Carter told Susan.

'It's complicated' Abby said

'It always is with you two' Susan said with a smile on her face. 

'It's several things, not least because we've seem to outgrown this house somewhat and there is a perfectly large one in Chicago, which is standing empty'

'Well if you keep having children at the rate you've been going, what do you expect' Susan said half joking

'No more kids' said Abby

'Yeah right' said Susan

'No really, I'm getting too old' Abby said

'Hundreds of babies are born to women in their forties' Luka said

'Yeah and I've had two of them, and well four children is plenty'

'I thought it was difficult with two' Carter said 'But with four well, it's an unique experience, that I wouldn't alter for the world'

'So?' Susan said prompting

'So?' Abby said

'So, what else?'

'Oh right. Well... umm... well for one, our neighbour died recently' Abby told them

'What the crotchety old spinster who lived on the farm?' Susan asked

'Yeah, that one. Agnes' Carter said

'In fact she was our only neighbour, really' Abby said 'And her heart was in the right place even if she always spoke her mind'

'What's this got to do with you leaving?' Luka asked

'She left us her property, she didn't have any living relatives, so she left us the farm and lands, some of which back on to this property' Carter said.

'You don't want to extend the house?' Luka asked.

'No. Not for us anyway'

'We decided that if we live in Chicago I wouldn't have to leave home as much as most things can be dealt with in Chicago, with regard to the foundation. Most importantly we want this house and the farm to be altered to provide holiday accommodation for underprivileged inner city kids. We've looked into planning and everything. It doesn't look like there will be a problem. If we sold it, it would probably be built on, people in town are looking to move out here now' Carter told them

'Wow, that's some plan' Susan said 'And there will be a job at County, actually I'm down at least two attendings,'

'Will you get a new job?' Luka asked Abby

'Yeah but not in the ER' she replied 

'When do you think you'll move?'

'Sometime in the New Year' Abby said

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

11pm

'Hey' said Carter coming up behind Abby who was staring out the window, putting his arms around her. 'I thought you were going to bed'

'I don't know there doesn't seem much point, Katrina will wake for a feed in about an hour'

'You haven't got any expressed milk in the fridge?'

'When have I had time to do that today?'

'Good point'

'You sure you're happy about going back to Chicago?'

'Yeah, you?'

'Yes. I don't want to have to keep jetting off and leaving every couple of months, it's not fair, on any of us'

They stood there in the silence of the night relishing the time alone, for the first time that day.

'Abby?'

'What?'

'About the locket'

'Mmmm?'

'This morning you asked me about the locket'

'Oh, I thought you hadn't heard'

'Oh I heard, it just wasn't the right time'

'The right time for what?'

'This' he said dangling the locket in front of her.

'What? Where?' she asked turning round to face him. Seeing his grinning expression she said 'You knew where it was all the time didn't you?'

He nodded. 'Yeah, open it'

Puzzled she took it from him and did as he requested; there she saw that the other side of the locket had been filled with a picture of Matthew and Katrina.

'I know I said you could fill the other side, but...'

She gave him half a smile 'This is great, thank you. I probably wouldn't have had the time 'til Katrina was about three'

He took it from her hands, unclasped it and fastened it around her neck before gently kissing her.

'You ever take that shower?' she asked pulling away slightly.

'No, I never did, can't you smell?' he replied lifting his arm to see how bad he smelt.

She wrinkled her nose and took half a step back. 'You need a hand? I've probably got half an hour or so before Katrina yells for my attention, what better than to waste my time with you' 

He stared intently at her and replied saying 'You know what, I think I do' and he took her hand and led her upstairs to their en-suite bathroom, where they stayed until Katrina did indeed yell for attention.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The End

AN: I guess I could have carried on but it's got to end somewhere. Thank you to everyone who reviewed and to everyone who reads and reviews this final chapter. Hope you all enjoyed it. 


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